After the 3rd week of going over my points due to alcohol, I've decided that its time to take a good, hard look at my drinking, and start looking at ways to moderate it. I don't think I have a drinking problem like alcoholism, per se, but I definitely drink enough and do enough dumb things that cutting back a little bit wouldn't hurt.
In that vein, I've ordered two books off of Amazon: one about social drinking and another about responsible moderation. At the very least, it'll save me some money when I go out to clubs ;-)
*~*~*~*
Week 5 Stats, 4/9 - 4/15
- Weight: 130.5lbs (OUCH!)
- Body Fat: 29.5%
- Body Fat Lost: -0.69lbs
- Total Points: Don't ask.
- Goal: Work out 4x this week, including 1 weight training
- Mon, 4/10: Walked 10,000+ steps
- Tues, 4/11: Cardio Kickbox, 45 mins
- Fri, 4/14: Ran 10 minutes
- Even though the intent was for a cheeseburger and fries on Fri night, I got a veggie burger, no bun, and salad
- I celebrated the end of Lent on Thurs night with rotisserie chicken (breast meat), salad and rice, rather than the original idea of In-n-Out Burger.
- Found that I was turned off to grease, and that I learned to listen to my body. Even though I could have gorged on Thurs, I stopped when I felt full
- Went to my 2nd WW meeting on Thurs
- Made a commitment to myself to lose weight and moderate my alcohol intake
What Helped Me:
- My friends are wonderful. Seriously. Maybe it didn't directly affect my diet in itself, but this week, I realized that my friends will love me whether I'm 128lbs or 120; whether I have a cool little Mini or a cheap little Honda. This is a great revelation.
- My ExP and WW support network. Not only has it been helpful to blog to acknowledge my struggles, the ExP ladies in particular have been a source of inspiration, validation, and support. Without a doubt, despite my failings and struggles, this time I know I can do it because of them.
- Introspection and therapy. My therapist is fantastic, but I also have been more introspective and actually applying changes. Being able to recognize my weaknesses and address them, rather than self-flagellation and avoiding them, has made me feel more optimistic about my changes.
- Stress about $$ and car. Sigh. I can't wait to get rid of that car - no offense to my baby. Its through no fault of its that I haven't handled things responsibly.
- ToM and medication. I was totally unbalanced at the beginning of the week thanks to my ToM and my medication running out at the same time. Boy howdy, can we say mood swings?
- Alcohol. I think I've said enough about that one :-)
Week 6 Goals:
- Get [back] on track. I've adjusted my allowed points back to 26, because 25 was stressing me out. I'd rather be slightly over points than try to meet them and just totally pig out.
- Incorporate meat into a healthy diet. It will be the first time that I'll be cooking meat since I started this diet.
- Work out 4x this week, including 1 weight training. I won't make my AP challenge because I only earned 7 APs this week, but I'm not going to try and overdo it. As Juni said in her post, when we try and be perfectionists about working out and plan for 1.5 hours at the gym, we end up not going to the gym at all. Getting in 20 mins of cardio is better than nothing.
- Points Target: 25.5 per day, 17.5 APs for the week.
- Go to WW meeting on Thurs with JH
- Walk 6,250 steps a day
- Finish weeks 1 and 2 of BI
You may wonder why I decided to start my weight loss diary for the week with tidbits about my drinking. Well, besides the obvious correlation - I eat more when I drink, and alcohol has a lot of calories in itself - its part of my bigger effort to become responsible and understand myself/my motivations.
The weight loss journey has really helped me unearth some nuggets of insight about my behavior and motivation that I either knew intellectually, but didn't apply in actuality, or didn't realize until I stopped to think about why I was doing certain things with food. (See my previous post about WW meetings below.) There are three areas in particular where I feel out of control: eating, drinking and money. Understanding and learning how to manage those three are tangible ways of approaching my core issue - managing my emotions, boundaries and intimacies.
That being said, I was not even remotely on the wagon this past week in terms of weight loss. Halfway through the week, I 'd already been up and down in lbs, thanks to my ToM, end of ToM, and then a nasty evening on Friday. By Saturday, I'd blown away all my points already - Caro and I went for a commiserative burger on Friday evening at Harry's - and any attempt to "catch up" was wasted as soon as I stepped into Gerardo and Alex's bday party. Several beers later, I found myself at Popeye's at midnight munching on the last fried drumstick.
The funny thing is, I don't feel guilty. I've accepted it and moved on, and got right back on plan - albeit modified to fit with my lessons learned - this morning. However, I'm NOT taking the pics for this week. Accountability is one thing, but the last thing I need is to feel even worse about myself after the week I've had.
[Incidentally, since I'm moderating my drinking and not abstaining, I find this site quite useful.]
Cheers, and on to the next...
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