Glee 1.7: Throwdown

Will: "I will destroy you."
Sue: "I'm about to vomit down your back."

I had a hard time reviewing this episode, because I had such mixed reactions to it. It was chockful of music, including a powerful Finn/Rachel pairing on "No Air" (one of my favorite songs), and a ridiculous and over-produced version of "Hate On Me." I found the closing rendition of "Keep Holding On" to be touching, supportive, sweet, and timely... and really, really annoying, thanks to the more-egregious-than-ever Reach to Nowhere choreography.

There were some great one-liners that made me laugh out loud (Finn wanting to name the baby "Drizzle"??), sweet moments like the kids secretly jamming together, and Jacob, who I just find hysterical. But overall, "Takedown" left me confused and disturbed.

And In Sue's Corner...
I'm not sure if it was the entire episode that felt gloomy, or just the last few minutes that left a bad taste in my mouth. I honestly felt that Sue was sincere in stepping down as co-chair of Glee Club. My first reaction was, "Wow, they're finally showing the human/vulnerable side of Sue Sylvester." Perhaps Will's comment that she's a lousy teacher got to her - perhaps she really does care about teaching.

But then the stunt she pulled on Quinn - having Jacob post about her pregnancy - completely confused me. Was she sincere regarding Will, and then got the Quinn thing dropped on her? It's possible - she did seem genuinely shocked that Quinn lied to her. Did she feel betrayed because she thought she had Quinn's loyalty and respect?

Or was she only pretending with Will, because she already has Quinn's exposure in her back pocket? If yes, how does socially ruining Quinn hurt the Glee Club - the kids are already thought of as misfits and losers. Is she hoping that the Cheerios that defected to Glee, leaving her at risk of losing the Nationals, as well as her TV spot, will flock back to her now that their reigning queen has been humiliated? What's her end game? Have I been watching too much Alias?

This is one of those moments where the timing of the show really throws me off. It's been generally hard for me to guage how much time has passed during the course of an episode, something that has sort of been bothering me because Terri seems to getting uber-pregnant, while Quinn hasn't even started to show. Usually, I don't look for too much realism in my shows, especially Glee, which is so tongue in cheek. But in this case, it really makes a difference to me in terms of my perception of Sue. It's one thing to blackmail Figgins and insult the other teachers; it's quite another to destroy a 16 year old girl who worships you.

I really hope it's the former; I like to believe that people are fundamentally good, but do bad/mean things out of hurt, fear, or a selfish lack of awareness on how they are impacting others. I was also excited at the prospect of really getting to know Sue better as a human being. Regardless, either Sue Sylvester or Jane Lynch acted the hell out of last night's episode, because I can't tell the difference anymore.

Will Grows a Pair... Sort Of.
The other "big" part of this week's episode was Will manning up and finally confronting Sue and Terri. I guess I'm not as shocked or genuinely surprised, because I never found Will to be a pushover, like a lot of people have (or the writers would like us to believe). I figured that he generally didn't think confrontation was effective, and he was just a genuinely nice guy. After all, he did speak up last week when he was feeling suffocated by Terri's 24/7 presence.

The "takedown" between Will and Sue probably would have had more punch if this was the first time we saw Will stoop to Sue's level. And this is where it gets really hard to describe. I never thought any of Will's actions up until now were terribly competitive, manipulative, and selfish. Yes, he went a little too far and he was overzealous, but I really thought that he cared about the kids. But other characters have been blatantly pointing out that he was being all of the above. In which case, Will's frustration with Sue would simply be part of an escalating pattern of competitiveness, not something that was out of character. (Sorry if that's confusing, I'm having a hard time describing this.)

Finally, I've never really believed that you have to fight dirty to fight back. Although I will admit that Will failing the Cheerios was a stroke of genius, especially the one who "spelled her own name wrong and answered every question with a picture of a sombrero."

The Real Takedown
I think the true emotional climax of the show will be when Will finds out that Terri's not really pregnant. I'm still confused about how she is going to pull this off, although bonus points for (a) managing to fake a sonogram, and (b) miraculously changing your pretend baby from a boy to a girl. I wonder if that was Quinn's sonogram that they were showing Will... although, really, would anyone be able to tell the difference?

And yes, that is my way of saying "GET THE FAKE PREGNANCY STORYLINE OVER WITH ALREADY!"

Bits 'n Pieces
-- I was touched when Terri said that she didn't want her sister's marriage, where Kendra basically just birthed a bunch of kids, "each dumber than the last." Even if she was only saying that because she's not carrying Will's child, I'd like to think that she meant it.

-- Figgins totally stepped up this week. I like tough Figgins. I like even more that he made Will and Sue hug it out.

-- No Emma or Ken this week. No Sandy for the last couple of episodes.

-- I'm starting to feel the chemistry between Rachel and Finn. Although Finn really shouldn't have told Quinn that she needs to be "more like Rachel". Bad Finn.

-- Quinn's "Keep Me Hanging On" was appropriately cheesy. I like watching the cheerleaders dance - I've been hoping for a cool routine since the show started. But I couldn't figure out who she wanted out of her life. Sue? Finn? Rachel?

-- Again, argh, Reach To Nowhere. Please, I beg you, Ryan Murphy - hire a choreographer! I hear Mia Michaels is available now.

-- Sue v. Will in slow mo was pretty excellent. I loved them arguing in their voice overs. Sue thought she looked "elegant" and "regal" with the veins busting out of her neck.

-- Puck: "Shalom."

-- I know I've already mentioned this, but the last number, "Keep Holding On", was really touching. When I saw the preview clip, I thought it was going to be another Quinn v. Rachel over Finn thing, but it turned out to be really sweet. Kurt was especially cute, the way he looked at Quinn. And it was the first time on the show that Quinn's had her hair down (I think). Symbolizing the end of her existence as a cheerleader?

-- Rachel has granny panties. Excellent.

-- I liked how they used "O Fortuna" during Will and Sue's battles - nice and epic :-)

-- Jacob: "The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined that you're the hottest girl in the school."
Rachel: "Ew."

-- Figgins: "Noooo! Not the children!"

-- Speaking of Jacob, how is it possible that Quinn's pregnancy is still a secret, considering Rachel just had a shouting matching with him down the hall?

-- Santana's idea of dancing is fluffing her ponytail.

-- The only item in this week's fashion report was Kurt's angora sweater. He looked like he was wearing a cat.

Sue's Corner:
I think pretty much all of the good lines belonged to Sue this week :-)

-- Sue: "I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help picturing small birds laying sulferous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting."

Ah. Finally, we understand Sue's animosity towards Will, hatred of Glee Club, and obsession with his home perm kit.

-- Sue: "I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one."

So very true.

-- Sue (picking out the kids of her group): "Santana. Wheels. Gay kid. Asian. Other Asian. Aretha. And Shaft."

-- Sue (referring to Spanish): "Oh, we all know about your devotion to this dying language."

-- Sue: "I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college? I don't know. I don't care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they want to become lawyers and banker and captains of industry, the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round off."

-- Sue (to Will): "Don't touch me." Will pokes her.

I haven't felt ambivalent about a single episode until this one, so I'm not sure what that means. Maybe this episode is a set up for next week's, which looks really juicy. Overall, 2 out 4 granny pants.

glee 1.6: vitamin d

"Glee is about what's in your heart, not what's coursing through your veins."

Wow. I freaking loved "Vitamin D". First of all, they did an awesome Bon Jovi cover - and as a Jersey girl, I am programmed from elementary school to worship them. Both mashups were pure genius, and the episode was a riot, from Finn's drool to Sue's journal. And can I just say, Terri totally owned this episode. I know we're not supposed to like her, but damn if I don't sympathize with her.

GLEEful Moments
Where do I even begin? There were so many good ones, ranging from emotional, to sweet, to just laugh-out-loud funny. I think my favorite was Finn's inner monologue - poor Finn is so overwhelmed with football, "being the Glee stud" and Quinn's pregnancy, that even dropping homework hasn't helped. The drool was hysterical - although that might be because I once fell asleep in class, and woke up with a puddle on my desk.

Rachel made some genuine overtures to Quinn, who is obviously also struggling. She even tells her that she's "actually quite a good singer - even though you're often sharp, but that's because you don't have my years of training." Glee Club is apparently a haven for losers who didn't have friends. While I find this idea sort of insulting (I was in musical theater and no one threw smoothies at me), it is kind of sweet that real friendships are developing between the kids. And I like Quinn. She's not just some dumb cheerleader - although you do need to question any school that would give Terri a 4.0 GPA.

Oh, and Sue's journal. O. M. G. I posted it in its entirety below. It was too much - she's about to turn 30? Beef bones in the juicer? (Gross.) Will's store bought home perm?

TOTW
I continue to thank the Glee gods for tighter storytelling and continued subtlety... this week's theme, competition, was so organic that I didn't even think about it until after the ep was over. It was also addressed in such an absurd way - cold medicine? - that it made its obligatory PSA without being preachy or uncharacteristically dark.

I've read some other reviews that by using decongestants, Glee didn't put enough weight into the seriousness drug use. I wanted to call this out because I've finally made peace with what this show is: ridiculous. Some of the comments from you folks made me realize that I was overanalyzing the characters and the satire; I was looking for deeper meaning in every word, gesture, punchline and song. And in doing so, lost the pure joy that I get from watching it.

So here it is: like Will said, "Glee is about having fun." When we stop having fun, it's time to stop altogether; we're missing the point. Thankfully, Glee has fun by mocking Middle America. I've heard so many people ask how any character could be so stupid not to realize blah blah blah, who would be dumb enough to get high on cold meds. To them I say, you obviously haven't seen the warning label on birth control pills: "Do not use if you are attempting to get pregnant."

Terri, Terri, Terri... *tsk*
Speaking of pregnant and dumb, Terri takes front and center after Sue tells her that if Will isn't already having an affair with Emma, they are on their way. She takes a job as the school nurse to keep an eye on them, even though she doesn't have a lick of training beyond once using a defillibrator. Along the way, she conspires with Ken, has a smackdown with Emma, and wreaks havoc by handing out OTC uppers to the Glee kids. As a result, she's fired and Will is unhappily saddled with his archnemesis as Glee's co-director.

I'm really glad Terri confronted Emma. While I say good for Emma for straight-up saying that "Will deserves much better than you", I gotta say that Terri wasn't altogether wrong. Will is her husband, they are committed to each other (and have been since high school), and Emma is such a paragon of virtue that it's self-righteous. I'm starting to see Terri as more immature/not very bright than manipulative - if you notice, she tends to follow other people's lead (e.g., Kendra and Sue), and, as Will said, doesn't understand the consequences of her actions.

Jessalyn Gilsig just knocked it out of the park this week. She managed to make a shrewish, vapid character both complex and human, sometimes using nothing but her face. In Gilsig's hands, Terri is simultaneously scheming and sympathetic; does really stupid things, but with the intention to help; vulnerable, haughty, vapid, insecure, self-centered, and scared. She was able to convey the hurt and fear a woman experiences at the thought of losing her husband, before masking it with the disdain she wears as an armor around other people - the scene in Figgins' office particularly stood out to me. Her expression after Will blurts out "every time I light a fire in my life, you find a way to make sure it burns the forest down" was downright heart-wrenching.

But I do have a bone to pick. Since when did Terri and Will start having issues? In both the Pilot and "Showmance", it showed them as a loving couple - taking bubble baths together, trying to have a baby. I know we, as viewers, saw the trouble brewing with the hysterical pregnancy and Emma, but it didn't feel like there was a whole lot of marital strain. I know they argued about his career and her Pottery Barn addiction, but couples argue. Yet, suddenly, in "Preggers" (ep. 4), she is telling her sister that Will is already one foot out the door. Really? Is this inconsistent storytelling by the writers, or did I miss something?

And I still don't understand Terri's plan. Is it supposed to be really, really stupid, or are the writers inconsistent?

Mashup: Boys v. Girls
In the end, we never got a verdict on who had the better mashup. Personally, I'm torn. As I said, I'm genetically partial to the boys because of Bon Jovi, and blending "It's My Life" with "Confessions" was a brilliant mix. Especially considering the Finn-Quinn-Puck baby deal. I'm glad that they gave Artie the lead for "Confessions", and for a change, there was no reach to nowhere in the choreography. Ironically, last week Finn's frenetic twitching drove me nuts. This week, when he was supposed to be off-the-wall-hyper, he was actually much smoother.

But I also loved the girls' "Halo/Walking on Sunshine" mix. Partially because "What America needs right now is sunshine. And angels." Mostly because the yellow dresses and head bands were just way too cute. Quinn was actually wearing a Calvin Klein sundress that I'd been eyeing for months - but didn't buy because wearing yellow makes me look like a giant banana. At the same time, I think they might have overdone it with the dancing - it was so maniacal it would have given epileptics a seizure, and there was way too much hair flipping.

So, what's your verdict: boys or girls? As for our star-crossed leads, who else was waiting for him to break into song after she told him she was marrying Ken?

Bits 'n Pieces:
-- Kurt gravitating to the girl's group, and then ratting the boys out for using drugs. "I may have been put into the boys group, but my loyalty lies with you ladies."

-- Speaking of which, did you notice that Mercedes was giving Tina a manicure, and Kurt was doing his cuticles?

-- FIGGINS! I love Figgins! His look when Terri said she once used a defilibrator was delectably lecherous.

-- The Glee kids aren't worried about competing against the school for deaf kids, even though they beat McKinley High in football.

-- I got an evil little thrill when Terri wiped Emma's cup with her finger. I thought Emma was going to have an anuerysm.

-- Some great nicknames: F-Rod, A-Rach. Sue called Emma "Ellen" this week.

-- Ken's suggestion that he and Terri have an affair was suitably horrific.

-- Sorry, but a guy like Kurt would have never suggested cornrows. He's all Miss USA Pageant, not hella ghetto.

-- Yellow everywhere! Emma wore at least one yellow thing with every outfit, the girls wore yellow dresses. Even Terri's tea set was yellow.

-- In this week's fashion news: I'm digging Mercedes with the straight hair, although I never understand how people can handle bangs in their eyes. Terri's hair was very Charlie's Angels. Rachel continues to dress like Sailor Moon, and Emma reminds me of an anime character, with her humungous eyes and pastel wardrobe. Oh - and Rachel's workout tights match her headband.

Quotes:
-- Kurt: "I don't understand how lightning is in competition with an above ground swimming pool."

-- Terri (to Finn): "You have really good bone structure."

-- Finn: "I'd never take steroids. It makes your junk fall off."

-- Ken: "Look at the two of us - you pregnant, me with psoriasis and a testicle that won't descend."

-- Rachel: "I'm sorry I called you contemptible and deplorable."
Finn: "That's ok, I didn't even know what those words meant."

-- Ken: "It's cubic zirconia. I know how affected you were by Black Diamond."

-- Finn: "She kind of freaks me out, in a Swimfan kind of way."

Oblique cultural connection: The guy who starred in Swimfan played Kirsten Dunst's love interest in the original Bring It On.

Terri (about Ken): "His fondue pot of nationalities is going to open up your kids to a host of genetic diseases."

Sue's Corner:
-- Sue: "Let me be frank - your husband is hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farm gift basket that doesn't belong to you."

-- Terri (when Sue says she's gained weight): "I'm pregnant."
Sue: "Well, that's no excuse. I've always thought that the desire to procreate shows deep, personal weakness... don't have the time, don't have the uterus."

-- Sue's Journal Entry:

Dear Journal. Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster...

It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver! That quiver will lose us Nationals. And without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements. And without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.

Glee Club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth breathers, it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything, only to be Shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy misshapen teens.

Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course it's not me. It's Will Schuester. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday...

Of course, it's coming clear to me now. If I can't destroy the club, I'll have to destroy the man!!!

All in all, 3.5 mashups out of 4.

glee 1.5: the rhodes not taken

Will: "Do you think we can win Regionals without Rachel?" Emma: "Remember the Jamaican bobsled team?"

In this week's episode, "The Rhodes Not Taken", newly minted Emmy winner Kristin Chenoweth guest starred as April, a former Glee Club superstar who's become a drunk has-been squatting in foreclosed homes. And let me tell you - that lady won an Emmy for a reason. Not only can she sing, she completely stole the show - a show that was probably the best episode of Glee I've seen yet.

This episode left me with so many thoughts and reactions that I'm going to try something a little different, and divide the review into sections based on my thinking. I'm also going to skip the plot recap, since I assume if you're reading this, you already know what happened :-) Let me know what you think about this format, as I am still playing with review styles.

Focus, people! Focus!
One of the best things about "The Rhodes Not Taken" was that it finally narrowed its focus into a cohesive storyline. To be honest, I've been struggling with To-Do-or-Not-To-Do a recap each week, partially because there are so many things going on, just trying to summarize it takes up like 2 pages. I don't mind having lots of things going on, and Glee has done a fairly good job of keeping them all pretty much related to the "Theme of the Night", but centering around a few key characters and plot points made a HUGE difference in my viewing experience. It definitely helped me become more invested in what was going on, as well as allowing the characters more breathing room for development. Much tighter storytelling, for sure.

Plus, I feel like having a huge cast with too many storylines is what did Heroes in, so I'm a little wary. I spent so much time trying to follow what was going on that I completely stopped caring about the characters, who basically started sucking anyway because, well, how much can you do when you've got 6 lines each episode?

Welcome Back to Earth
In addition to filtering out the noise, "Rhodes" was a far more grounded episode. Don't get me wrong - I love the show for its absurdity and cheekiness - but I was really happy to watch something that I could relate to. Until tonight, Glee was more like a edgy, sly spoof of every high school movie/show ever made - more concerned about how the story was told then the story itself. And I loved it - I love poking fun at all 3 sequels of Bring It On - but would it have been sustainable? How long can you make fun of others if you don't have your own story to tell?

Flawed, but Real, Characters
I really like flawed characters - mostly because I think that being flawed is what makes us human. I also like complex characters. The two leads of this episode - Rachel and April - proved to be both flawed and complex, while the "good" characters - Will, Emma, and Finn - gave in to manipulation to get what they wanted.

Rachel really struggled with her decision to leave Glee Club. She feels the only thing she has is her talent, and she (wrongly and selfishly) thought it was being dismissed last week. She's miserable with the play, but keeps insisting that it's the price to pay for being such a star - trying to convince herself as much as those around her. Like any teenager - heck, any human being - she wants to belong, have people who miss her.

Kristin Chenoweth brought out layers and layers of complexity in April. She used to have such bright future, but made some bad choices, and ended up quite south of where she wanted to be. But instead of being bitter or in denial, she acknowledges what's happened and is doing her best to move on. She remains pleasant and sweet, if not altogether appropriate or classy. Like Rachel, she seeks Will's approval and admiration; but rather than being defensive and snotty, she tries hard to do what he asks - raising her hand in Spanish class, trying to woo the Glee kids, with hysterical results.

And Will, Emma and Finn? All of them knew that what they were doing was wrong - Finn took advantage of Rachel's crush to get her back to Glee, Will took advantage of April's vulnerability to help New Directions win, Emma took advantage of Finn's dilemma to help Will be happy. But they really convinced themselves that the end justified the means, even when they were patently uncomfortable about it. I'm glad that they aren't paragons of virtue.

Now... the Critique
Of course, no review of Glee can ignore the musical numbers. Tonight we had some powerhouses: while I didn't especially love the song from Cabaret, I thought splicing April and Rachel's performances were cleverly done. The karaoke of "Alone"? Genius! And picking a country song? Very bold, very fun.

Yet... *sigh*. I really enjoyed "Somebody to Love", but there are holes in the performance. First of all - Finn's singing. He's the male lead - he needs to be stronger. He's always quiet when he starts off a number, and especially when he's playing off a powerhouse like Lea Michele, he sounds tiny and unsure. At first, it was endearing - it made sense plot-wise, Finny was nervous and unsure. But at this point, he needs to drop the bewildered act, and really step up his performances. Its not that he can't sing - once he gets further into the song, it becomes more confident - he just leads off poorly, which sets a poor tone for his solos.

Second, the "dancing". What dancing? Vocal Adrenaline danced. I realize that New Directions isn't going to win because of their mad choreography, but does it have to be so amateur? On last night's So You Think You Can Dance, there was this hilarious segment about what NOT to do in an audition. One of the four was what they called the "Reach to Nowhere" - basically, when a contemporary dancer reaches beseechingly into the sky. As judge Adam Shankman said, "What are you trying to get??"

There's an awful lot of reaching in New Directions' routines. It even bothered me starting with on "Don't Stop Believing", when all Rachel and Finn did was hold their hands out to each other, but I wrote it off to being their first performance. Now, its just annoying. And I don't mean to pick on Finn, but he really looks constipated or like his pants are too tight when he "dances". Again, not very becoming of a male lead.

Finally, please fix the lip synching. Study some Britney Spears if you must, but if you're going to lip synch, please do it in, er, synch.

Oh, and what's with the shameless plugs for MySpace? (Fox owns MySpace.)

Finally... the GLEEful Moments:

-- Kurt: "Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy."

Best line of the night, hands down. Emma really does look like a deer in the headlights sometimes, with her humongous, trusting eyes :-)

-- Puck: "I bet you thought Bert and Ernie were just roommates."

Sue only had one line of the night, but it was a doozy...
-- "When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious.

Speaking of Sandy...
-- "Let me tell you about my planned production of Equus. Have you ever hung out at a stable?"

-- Puck: "That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire, but she can sing."

-- Will: "We'll get you sobered up, find you some underwear."

-- Emma: "I'm pretty sure its not a fake ID because he looks like an 11 year old milkmaid."

All in all, superb. Could this be the turning point, where Glee grows up to be a real show? I certainly hope so.

Four out of four boxes of wine.