pumpkin pop #1

why i should be vice president

Dear Senator McCain -

Recently, some political pundits, both conservative and liberal, called for Sarah Palin to step down as your VP nominee. In the case that you are considering it, please allow me to tell you why I would be just as good, if not a better, replacement candidate.

• Like Palin, I am young, female, and attractive... and look damn good in red, navy blue and purple.
• I am also Asian, so I represent a minority.
• I'm Republican, Catholic, and heterosexual. I actually go to church (or used to, when it was 5 mins away from my house), sang in the church choir, and plan to stay at home with my kids when they are young. And yes, take them to soccer practice.
• I know your voting record and politics, as I had been a supporter of you the last 2 presidential elections. Best of all, I understand what they mean.
  
• I was personally affected by 9/11, as I lived near NYC all my life, and visited. A lot.
• I have leadership experience. I was VP of a student club in high school, and have managed projects that made a lot of money.
• I am a foreign policy guru. I was in Model UN in high school and college, and even spoke at some of them!
  
• I have extensive policy experience. I majored in History - researching tyrants like Mao and Hitler, so I understand good leadership, and studied Political Science for a year, before I dropped it b/c I got so depressed by how stupid the American voting population was. Therefore, I really understand our potential constituents.
• I talk like the rest of the country. I can alternate between Jersey girl and Valley girl, so I'd connect with both sides of the coast. I'm like, *totally* ready to lead.
  
• I own a small dog, which would appeal to animal activists and small dog owners everywhere.
• I can navigate the DC old boys club. Being in the tech industry, work mainly with guys, so know how to get them to do things by wearing short skirts or baking cookies. And I get along with white males - or at least usually date tall, blond guys.
• Finally, I would attract your minority blue collar population. I have a great booty, which black and Mexican construction workers always comment on.

I hope you will consider my candidacy. Not only am I just as qualified as Ms. Palin, but I don't look a thing like Tina Fey.

You betcha!

Serena Yang or Preston
(I can be either, depending on what group you are talking to)