quotable sushi

I met up tonight with A.J., a friend of mine who's currently in Michigan's MBA program that is visiting SF for the week. We caught up at Tokyo Go-Go, and traded some hilarious stories (wedding and otherwise) over sushi, sake, and some extraordinary kobe beef skewers.

Quotes of the Night - both courtesy of A.J.

"Don't hate me because I have a penis. Its a birth defect."

"I'm not sure I want you soldering my motherboard."

The lucky bastard just got an offer from Booz-Allen heading into his 2nd year, so he's going to be partying for the next year and a half. It made me remember why I'm so set on going to bschool, and renewed my GMAT efforts. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I actually studied instead of destroying my liver in college.

Nah.

more tales from the stupid people

We can only hope that evolution takes its course in due time.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Opening up your door while driving isn't a good idea, especially on a busy highway.

Robbin Doolin, 31, of the Kansas City suburb of Grandview, learned that Friday morning when she leaned out her fast-moving car to spit.

She went tumbling out onto U.S. 71 in Kansas City, and to the amazement of other drivers, she hopped up and chased her car as it careened down an embankment toward a construction site.

Doolin was recovering Friday night at a hospital, where she was treated for injuries to her leg, arm and head.

"It's certainly not prudent to open your car door on a highway, especially when you're not wearing a seat belt," said Capt. Rich Lockhart, a police spokesman. Lockhart said the woman was embarrassed about the accident.

Her explanation to officers: "I leaned out to spit and I leaned too far."

Courtesy of The Kansas City Star.

don't send porn to your girlfriend

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my mother is insane

She calls me over the weekend to tell me that they've just bought another house in Pennsylvania, where they will be going on the weekends. Uh huh.

"Its in the middle of nowhere," I whined. "Where the hell is Reading, anyways?"

"Don't worry, honey," she soothed. "Its 10 minutes away from one of the largest outlet centers in the country."

And I was mollified. She does know me so very well.

the 10 commandments of getting married

This past weekend, two of my best friends - Daysun and Lee - got married in a beautiful ceremony in LA. Not only did the wedding redefine ridiculous, but it was very educational.

What I learned this weekend:

• Thou shalt not have an outdoor wedding in LA at the end of July. Especially when it is about 95 degrees all weekend.
• Thou shalt make sure that the bridesmaids dresses are the right size.
• Thou shalt not apply suntan lotion after thou has put on the dress.
• Thou shalt make sure that the maid of honor has both contacts ready the day of the wedding.
• Thou shalt rent limousines with air conditioning that works and a driver that knows where he is going.
• Thou shalt also have the rehearsal dinner in a restaurant where the air conditioning works.
• Thou shalt remember to bring your house key with you the night of your wedding.
• Thou shalt not piss off angry kitties by locking them outside.
• Thou shalt not make speeches where you declare that you are drunk in front of your parents, lest parents don't let you go home and you end up sleeping on makeshift bedding peed on by aforementioned kitty.
• Thou shalt never, ever utter the-phrase-that-shall-not-be-spoken. Not once. Not 100 times. Not ever.

Day 1: The Rehearsal

Heather, Greg and I arrive in LA at around 10:30, and its already 90+ degrees outside. We had been very excited to escape the chill of San Francisco. Until we got there, that is.

After a brief lunch, where we had the most orgasmic blueberry cheesecake ever created, we headed over to Greystone Park for the rehearsal. Not only did I forget to put on sunblock, but it was 1,000 degrees outside. We almost died. The heat made us stupid. The stupidity made us go through the rehearsal more than once. The 5 times we walked down the aisle made us hot. And the heat made us stupider.

It was a vicious cycle.

Bridesmaids and Bridesman pose during the rehearsal. Yeah, we look happy,
but that's because you can't see the sweat between our thighs.

The soon-to-be bride and groom getting giddy from the heat.

After rehearsal, we headed home for a quick shower, and then went off to Barefoot for the rehearsal dinner. Where the a/c was broken. So we all drank a lot of alcohol to, er, try and cool down.

David makes his infamous speech.

David, Daysun's brother, gets up during the dinner to make a courageous toast in Chinese. Essentially, he acknowledged every single Chinese person in the room, then said, "I'm kind of drunk. And I'm done."

David was punished later on that evening by a very unhappy Poo. Or pee, depending on how you look at it.

Day 2: The Wedding

The next morning, we wake up at the buttcrack of 9am to start getting ready for the wedding. I was terrified what they were going to do with my short hair, but actually, it turned out quite nice.

Several near disasters were averted. Heather lost a contact lens, and thought she might have to walk down the aisle being able to see out of one eye. I somehow managed to get a handprint of sunblock on my right boob (yes, I did have to check), and had to break into the bathroom while David was showering. And oh, we thought David was going to throw up his lunch after Daysun flashed him with her oh-so-sexy bridal undergarments... which consisted of a sticky bra and a crotchless girdle.

Wah! My dress was never the same after that!

"Guess what, guys? I can see out of both eyes!"

We tortured Lee for a bit, and both Daysun and Lee bowed to her parents for permission. We then climbed into the limo, where the drunken groomsmen awaited.

Luckily, it wasn't as sweltering as it had been the day before, but I still felt like a marshmallow at a campsite. The makeup that started out on my forehead was on my chin after about 10 minutes, and all of us bridesmaids hid in the back area, sans shoes, while waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Ohhh... Steven looks so sexy in the heat!

We only smiled when we thought people were looking at us. It was just too damn hot, and I had to dig my heels into the grass because my feet were killing me.

The wedding itself was beautiful. The ceremony was simple and lighthearted, the vows so sweet that I almost cried (or was that sweat?), and afterwards, we were so happy to get inside - to a non-air conditioned limousine!

The bride and groom looking rapturous.

Post torture-ride, we cooled down in the luxury of Mission 123 for a delectable Chinese banquet. I'd tell you more about the reception, but I'm not sure that I remember any of it.

I'm so happy for Daysun and Lee! *sniffle* I'm going to miss you guys when you move to the East Coast!

roasting in hell

Anyone who works for Cingular or bus companies that cart around drunk people should roast in hell! It cost me f-ing $250 to replace my phone, AND they no longer have my Britney Spears ringtone! Bastards.

pac mans, duck livers and the sake that isn't

Oy.

Let me just say how badly I need a camera. I've been basically commando'ing Eric's for the last couple of months, as mine has completely died. The original idea was that I would buy myself a nice camera after I scored 700+ on my GMATs. Since I don't know when that will actually happen, I think I'd better just suck it up and buy one.

(Anyone with suggestions, please email me!)

As Karen said this morning, we are just having way too much fun these days. We're all going just slightly bankrupt. But I did warn all of you that this would happen as soon as I got back into the city.

THE SAKE THAT WASN'T (Saturday)
Saturday was our highly anticipated sake drinking night. The two Erics, Karen, Agnes, Jarret, Jonathan and I were to meet up at Tsunami to have some drinks.

Yeah right.

I HATE Tsunami. I HATE restaurants / bars where they are snotty to me. This is probably the snottiest statement in itself, but no one should be treating me like that when I walk in the door and plan to drop money. Especially since one day I might actually be able to help them make some.

We weren't allowed to sit at the bar at Tsunami. We weren't allowed to sit at the tables at Tsunami. We weren't allowed to stand at the bar at Tsunami's. Finally, we headed over to their "sister" bar, 821, which was supposed to have a sake collection as well. A sake collection that included 2 sakes, one of which they only had a glass of.

After everyone met up there and had our obligatory glass, we decided to leave the punk-asses behind and go to Pink, where ePop's friend was having a bday party. It was a lot more fun than I remembered it. Then again, the last time I was at Pink, I drank 1/2 a bottle of vodka, showed random people my monkey underwear, passed out on the couch, and lost my keys.

Oh, and there was an earthquake that night.

Quote of the Night:

Eric: I need to have sex at least 3 times a week, and I only see my gf once.
Serena: That's why you have two hands and a girlfriend.
Eric: Yes, but masturbating with your left hand is like having sex with a retarded person.

PAC-MAN! (Sunday)
Of course, I had to wake up the next morning for the AIDS Walk. Considering that I went to bed at 5, and drank a couple of glasses of champagne the night before, this was no easy task.

At around 10, I rolled out of bed and headed for the 6 mile walk. How, oh, how, was I to find Laura, Isidro and Heather amongst the sea of people?

"where u guys at?" I text messaged Laura
"by the raisins"

OK, this being San Francisco, I fully expected like 4 naked trannies to be dressed as California raisins. Turns out they were just standing by where they were handing them out.

This year, we were much more mentally prepared than the last. Last year, we had to detour to my house (right along the route) and almost died after the 2nd mile. We were pretty ok until about mile 4 - at that point, Isidro abandoned us, Heather started pulling pac mans, and I had to stop for a pretzel.

After that, we headed over to Tasty Curry, the only restaurant that fit our criteria ("open and right here") for grub. The food was reasonably good - and very cheap - but if you go, bring your own water.

Quotes of the Day:

Serena: "I'm sweating out of my nose."

Laura: Makes a point. "Which I fully agree with."
Heather: "Did you just agree with yourself?"

DUCK LIVERS (Wednesday)
Monday and Tuesday were relatively quiet. On Monday, I had a romantic evening with myself, where I curled up in front of the fireplace with a glass of bubbly water, a plate of grapes, pate, smoked salmon and brie, and the latest Harry Potter. I can't remember what I did on Tuesday, but I'm sure it was unproductive.

On Wednesday, Karen, Agnes and I had an impromptu night out, all of which started because Karen and I have been craving foie gras. After doing a bit of shopping, I met up with the two at Piperade. We sat at the bar, and decided to share a bunch of small plates because we "weren't that hungry." Yeah right!

Amongst our original 5 small plates were a golden beet and fennel salad, Bacalao fritters with pimenton aioli, roasted red peppers stuffed with goat cheese and raisins, and prawns sauteed with garlic, parsley and lemon. But while they were all pretty damn good, nothing holds a candle to the foie gras sauteed with Monterey squid, grapes and verjus! Literally, Karen and I mopped up the plate with the bread. I think we would have eaten the plate if we could have!

At that point, we decide that, yeah, we're still hungry. So we order lamb chops with thyme and aged sherry vinegar. They were delicious, but so very rare. I ended up getting sick over them later.

We also determined the following rules when Agnes is drinking wine:

• After 2 glasses of wine, feed her bread
• After 4 glasses, start talking only in Chinese.

After dinner, we headed over to Minna, where it was still bouncing even though it was 10 already. Steen bought us a round, and we ran into Carol and Joel, the friendly waiter from our Bastille Day feast at Cafe Claude. Somehow, we all ended up at Anu later on in the evening.

Thursday was not easy.

Oh, there was no QUOTE of the DAY on Wednesday, but boy, do I have a gem for you from Thursday:

Eric Pop: "Now I know why women attack my nipples all the time!"

And with that, I head off to LA for The Wedding.

i'm shellshocked

I'm in complete shock. Physical and emotional. I'm stunned.

Why? you ask. Two words: Harry Potter.

Given how much I despised - yes, despised - Book 5, I wasn't terribly enthusiastic about 6. I got it as a matter of form, but I didn't go to the midnight launch party, didn't even crack it open until Sunday. But after a couple of chapters, I'd realized that the Harry Potter that I've completely loved for years was back in form... as opposed to that super-annoying ball of teenage angst that was The Order of the Phoenix.

(Side note: For a seriously hilarious parody of Book 5, check out my favorite fanfic author Cassie Claire's "A Lot To Be Upset About". You'll die laughing.)

I won't give away a lot of the book, except to say that the magic is back... er, pun intended. There were some LOL moments that Book 5 was sorely missing, and the writing was much smoother, much more cohesive. I didn't sit through the book feeling like Rowling was just cranking *something* out to satisfy the angry masses.

But - Oh. My. God. The ending. I'm in shock. I knew it was coming, and yet I didn't. I've been sitting here for the last 30 minutes unable to close my mouth properly. And I can't wait for Book 7 - to find out the truth, the real truth, about the Half-Blood Prince. Bastard.

And just one more thought: Has anyone else read the friggin' book? Am I the only true fan amongst my friends? I just realized, as I sat here in a state of shock, that I had NO ONE to discuss it with! If you're planning on reading it, do it soon! Otherwise, looks like I'll be trolling the online discussion boards for a while.

vive le irish pub!

*** First of all, I'd like to officially note our regrets that none of us had a camera last night. There were some Kodak moments. ***

Last night, Diana, Irma, Julie, Karen, Martha and I went to Café Claude to celebrate Bastille Day. After hearing about how insane it was last year, I made reservations 3 weeks in advance. Which was a good thing, as you could only get in (even to the bar!) if you had reservations - something that both Carol and Agnes took advantage of when they joined us for drinks.

Irma was running a bit late, so Carol sat with us when we were first seated. As we were all starving, we ordered the Charcuterie plate, which not only had saucisson and prosciutto, but also two different kinds of pâté. I think I had my first food orgasm of the night there - the Galantine pâté was just amazing. So amazing that we ordered another one!

By our second course, Irma had arrived and Carol said her goodbyes. The waitstaff was all very confused by this, but that's ok - we were confused too. For our small plates, we went with some of the house specialties - a Kobe steak tartare, the Escargot, and the Coquille St. Jacques. I wasn't impressed with the escargot, especially since our Maître d' had to extract it for me in the back, but the Kobe steak and scallops were both amazing. It was a complete dining adventure for Irma, who dubiously tried the snails, the raw meat, and the whipped liver.

Our main courses seemed more tame, but turned out to be much more flavorful. Because we were sharing everything, we decided on the Coq au Vin, the Porc au Miel, and the Moules. Both the mussels and the pork were delicious - the pork was surprisingly tender - but the Coq au Vin blew everyone away. At this point, I started to lose track of the number of food orgasms I had last night, but at least one resulted from the chicken.

And then, the best part: Dessert! Of course, we needed chocolate, so we ordered the Moelleux au Chocolat - a soft, warm chocolate cake with creamy goodness all over it. To balance it out, we also indulged in the Crème Brûleé and the Tarte Tartin... both creamy and buttery, and just delicious. But honestly - it was all about the cake. Have you ever seen 6 women moan with pleasure at the same time? You would have, if you'd been sitting there. In fact, the waiter enjoyed watching us so much that he brought us another one!

After our indulgent dinner, we headed to Belden Place to continue the Bastille Day celebration. It was, as promised, a zoo... there was a huge line to get into Voda. Deciding that we didn't need to be groped by French wannabes that badly, we decided to backtrack and head to the Irish Bank instead. Which also had a line out the door, but for whatever reason seemed to be a better option. At this point, we lost Carol, Eric, Karen, and Agnes, but picked up Randy, Matt, Alex, and Jarret - all of whom we ran into randomly at the Irish Bank!

So we ended up celebrating Bastille Day in an Irish pub, drinking bad Stella out of a plastic cup and listening to reggae. The absurdity of it was just too much. We felt like we were in a frat party - especially after the decadent elegance of dinner. But it was fun nonetheless, and a night to remember.

:: verve ::

:: VERVE :: was a smashing success last Friday night! We totally packed 111 Minna with over 450 ppl, and made over $2,000 for the SF AIDS Walk. The auction alone brought in ~$700... what a great time!

Very special thanks to everyone who participated in this huge endeavor:

The DJs: Janaka Selekta, Jimmy Love, Sake One, fflood, ePop, Jarret Cooper and Pathos

The Auctionees: Karen + Agnes ($150 - whoo hoo!), Dholrhythms Bhangra dance group ($125), Diana + Irma ($105), Jen + Alice ($75), Eric Pop ($65), Matty the fabulous hip hop dancer ($45), Eric H as our French stud, Sean the yoga guru ($30) and our fabulous volunteers Chris and Rebecca.

... and of course, much love to Tejash for MC'ing and my lovely Baby Steps AIDS Walk team for staffing the door and listening to me rant - Laura, Isidro, and Heather Fell.

1 bottle of champagne, a slice of bday cake, and several 22 oz. Sapporos later, we have pictures! More coming soon (ahem! Karen!).


Isidro "advertises" our raffle.


ePop spins up the party!


Vince, Marco, Randy and Patricia smile for the camera


The Three Sisters Belly Dancers... amazing!






Eric on the auction block, where MC Tejash rallies the crowd.


Me and Clydo, my favorite fairy godbrother.




Monica and Claudia


Shy Fairy...


...with his Fairy Entourage.

And with this party, its official: I'm retiring. Our August fundraiser - ... and a Bag of Chips! - at Madrone Lounge will be my last as the Director of 09:Babies Productions. I'll be handing it over to Wiggins to do, er, I don't know what he's going to do with it.

My next role? I'm thinking of trying out matchmaking.

my dream guy

Diana very succinctly summed up the perfect guy for me today:

"Michael Vartan as a 26 year old DJ that codes."

As I was explaining to Di, the problematic part of the equation is neither the being 26 years old, the DJing, nor the coding.

adventures in muni

Although I do not even remotely miss driving to work, I'd forgotten that Muni can be just as exasperating as stupid drivers on the 101.

On Thursday, I was running a bit late, so I didn't check the news before I dashed out of the house. When I got to the N-Judah station on 19th and Judah, I noticed that we were waiting phenomenally long for a train. Usually, they come every 5 - 10 minutes during rush hour. All of a sudden this bus pulls up - something that almost never happens on Judah street.

Confused, I follow the masses onto the bus, and hope for the best.

In the wake of the London subway bombings that morning, Muni was taking extra precautions and discontinuing underground service. The thing that was really confusing was that the Outbound trains were still running.

On the bus, I ask the person that I was squeezed up against if she knew why we were on the bus or where we were going. "No clue," she said, in regards to our destination. "But I'm guessing its because of the bombings."

We amble along for about 15 blocks, when all of a sudden the bus stops. "There's a train behind you," the driver said. Apparently, Muni officials thought that stopping just 3 Inbound trains was enough of a "security precaution." So of course everyone gets out and tries to pack into an already overstuffed N.

I couldn't get on, so we get back on the bus. The bus was heading to Duboce and Church, was almost completely empty, and I had already gotten to know my fellow travelers from rubbing up against their backpacks.

Unfortunately, the driver had no idea how to get to Church and Duboce. So we were all giving him directions while speculating about the morning's events.

We finally reach Church, and once again, everybody gets out. Some head towards Market to catch a street car, the rest of us wait for another N. When it finally arrived, we knew there was just no hope of getting on. You can imagine how crowded it is, considering it was the same train that was holding all of the people who held out for a train at their original stops, plus all of the people who got off the bus in the first place.

So the three of us walk up to a supervisor talking to the bus driver to ask him when the next one is coming. At that point, he says, "Actually, I'm sending this bus downtown." So we once again climb back on the same bus, with the same driver, and have to give him directions.

Eventually I made it to work in one piece. But what an adventure.

happy 4th of july

I spent all day Sunday recovering from my hedonistic pursuits of the days before, holed up in my house reading (Survivor in Death by J.D. Robb) and watching Season 2 of Alias. Huge apologies to everyone I flaked on... I was really in bad shape.

On Monday, July 4th, I rejoined the world of the living and went to a BBQ with Diana and Eric at the SuperHappyFunHouse - a mansion rented out by Dave Weekly and about a hundred other guys. Its was literally a sausage fest: everyone seemed to find sausage as the grill food of choice, so we ended up with about 10 packets of sausages of all varieties. In addition to good food, the boys moved the bar out onto the lawn, and even bought a portable fireplace that they put in the pool!

















At one point, someone got the great idea to toast marshmallows in the pool. So they took apart a torch stand and made it into a multi-marshmallow roaster.

Eventually, it became way too cold to stay outside, so Diana, Eric and I headed back towards the city. We chased fireworks through SOMA, but by the time we got to the Embarcadero, they were already over. So we headed home, where Eric and I both had a yogurt, and then said goodnight.

Happy bday USA :-)

stuff

According to Dr. Pop, the guys who pursue me "don't follow industry standards." And yesterday, Wiggy had bun on his face.

sushi + sake = karen's bday

Karen and I went to Ozumo's last night to celebrate her birthday. While the food was pretty fantastic, I'm not sure that it was worth the $200+ tab - $100 of which was in sake alone!

Ozumo is interesting in that it has sushi, as well as a huge variety of robata dishes. We were so confused by the enormous menu that we literally had to focus on one section at a time. It also didn't help that our server was one of the most gorgeous creatures ever! :-)

Eventually, we decided on 1/2 dozen oysters on a half-shell and a warm unagi and foie gras dish to start; a watercress salad with enoki mushrooms and bacon; the roasted duck and yellow tail collar for main courses; and just a smidge of sushi with an order of hamachi and amaebi sashimi. The duck we could have done without - the portions are actually quite large there - but otherwise the food was pretty darn good. My favorites were the two appetizers: they garnished the oysters with ikura, a combination I'm surprised more places haven't tuned into, and foie gras is always amazing.

Since the main purpose of the evening is to drink sake, we take the server's recommendation and order the unpasturized samplers - a spring and a summer one. The Gokyo Arabashiri is amazing - simple and powerful. After dinner (and a surprisingly good dessert of green tea ice cream, mochi and chocolate sauce), we met up with Carol, Agnes, Eric and Alex in the lounge for more sake.



Eventually, the staid crowd and ridiculous prices drive us to livelier pastures, so we head out to the The EndUp - but not before I discovered that I lost my debit card. I'm so pissed! I guess its God's way of telling me that I've been spending too much money recently.

red, red wine

I wore these gorgeous white linen pants out to Medjool with Alex and Gerardo on Friday night, and somehow ended up spilling an entire glass of red wine on them. I was devastated. I had just bought these pants last week, and they're not only cute but also super comfortable.

The next morning / afternoon, I googled "red wine stain removal" and found Patty's Wine Stain Removal Recipe. The gist:

This is absolutely foolproof for any laundered items! Mix Dawn dishwashing liquid soap with hydrogen peroxide...then pour on the stain and let sit as a presoak. Neither of these ingredients works by itself. You must use BOTH. You'll actually see the red wine disappear as you drizzle the mixture on a stain!

I tried it yesterday and soaked them overnight - and it worked like a charm! Seriously amazing. Not a hint of wine, and it doesn't look funky like its been bleached. The best part is that I was also able to use this for my green satin top as well, as it fell victim to my clumsiness.

Otherwise, Friday night was a total blast. I haven't really partied with Gerardo since college, where the two of us wrecked havoc on our entire dorm (ask us about salsa dancing in the stairwell). We initially met up with a bunch of Gerardo's friends at Medjool's rooftop lounge - gorgeous view - and then headed over to Foreign Cinema when it died down. After that closed, four of us went for a late night meal at Steps of Rome.

gluttony, thou art my name

When I told Daisy, my soon-to-be-manager, that I would be starting my job on Wednesday, she asked, "Don't you even want to take one day off?"

Its surprising to most people that I'm starting my new job at Plumtree right away (my last day at eBay is Tues), but not to my friends that have been hanging out with me for the last couple of weeks. Even before I quit, things were in such a state of flux at work that I didn't have much to do. The last 4 weeks have been even worse - since we're in the process of reorging the company, and 75% of the Project Managers got "repurposed", we've all basically been sitting around shooting the shit.

Now that its official, I've been going out and celebrating for the last week. Last Sunday was our Mexican Fiesta at Laura and Isidro's to raise money for the AIDS Walk. Believe you me when I say that not a single item on the menu contained any nutritional value - I mean, I made a "casserole" that consisted of a stick of butter, a package of cream cheese, a can of creamed corn, and a cup of cheese - but it was damn good. Seth introduced me to the joys of good tequila, courtesy of Trudy's famous Mexican Martinis. I can't decide what was better - the queso with sausage in it, or the chocolate sauce mixed with triple sec and tequila.

On Wednesday, Miriam and I went to try out Zuppa, a brand new restaurant by the creators of Globe. I'll let Miriam's blog posting speak for both of us, but just to give you a hint of how things went:


(Note the magenta hair!)

Thursday was a double-whammy. My eBay work friends and I went out to lunch at my favorite restaurant in San Jose - Vito's Trattoria - where I had the last lunch pesto tortellini I would have in a while. We even ordered dessert and coffee... A bad idea, it turns out, as mine wasn't decaf :-)

On Thursday evening, my dance friends Irma and Diana met up for dinner at Cortez. Cortez is supposedly one of the "66 best new restaurants in the world," according to Conde Nast Traveler. The food was delish, the service impeccable, and the company absolutely wonderful! I'm so glad that I'm getting a chance to hang out with Irma and Diana even after the dance show... they are such sweethearts!

The 4th of July weekend promises to bring even more culinary delights. As I said, continued celebration of my new job + the long weekend + Karen's bday = non stop food and sake. Tonight I'll be meeting up with Gerardo and Alex at Medjool, and tomorrow Karen and I will be dining at Ozumo. Yum. Can't wait!