a robust evening at the holy cow

Dear Visitors to San Francisco:

If you plan on visiting our wonderful city, please abide by the following guidelines of good taste that most people that live here seem to understand.

(1) Please do not dress like Paris Hilton or dye your hair blonde to look like Paris Hilton. If you must look like Paris Hilton, please do not wear cutoff halter tops that have the Playboy Bunny in fake rhinestones stitched on. Especially if you are twice the size of Paris Hilton.

(2) Please do not dance on stage if you do not know how to dance. We in San Francisco know how to dance or, minus the people that live in the Marina, know that we don't know how to dance.

Some examples to help you:

• Sticking one leg up and humping the wall does not consitute dancing.
• Bending over and pushing your butt out (especially if said butt is clad in acid wash jeans) does not constitute dancing.
• Grinding with the perverted old man leering at you on stage does not constitute dancing.

We understand that in places like Texas, Alabama and wherever else they vote for Bush that they do not play hip hop. But grinding an inanimate object does not equate to hip hop dancing.

(3) Please refrain from making out on stage. Once you have gotten to the make out stage, kindly step down and allow other nasty Paris Hilton wannabees to take your place. No one needs to see your neck getting licked.

Observing these rules will make your visit to San Francisco far more pleasant for those of us that have to live here. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Patrons of the Holy Cow

Robusteam ['ro bus tem]: n. Group of four randomly drunk people that make up words from the stem of "robust" and describe cheese and wine as "robust". Team members include Robust-it, Robust-a-move, Robustique, and Rôbóheaux (pronounced ro-bo-ho)

Last night, Clyde, Carolyn, Eric and I started off with dinner at Green's - an elegant vegetarian restaurant in Fort Mason - and somehow ended up watching Girls-Gone-Wild wannabees at the Holy Cow.

Dinner was suprisingly delicious and filling. We met up at around 7:45 and ordered a bottle of Barbera D'asti (quickly becoming my favorite type of wine). Every Saturday at Green's, they have a prix fixe menu for $46 - something we knew, but didn't realize that we had no alternative to.

We started off with a wonderful cheese and fruit plate, followed by appetizers. The goat cheese, as Carolyn commented, was quite "robust", as was our wine. Caro, Clydo and Eric all got organic salads, while I opted for a corn pudding. It was a corn-filled night for me, as you shall soon see.

The salads were good, but not impressive. The same was not true of the entrees. Eric and I both ordered the smoked cheese and corn tartine, while Caro and Clyde opted for the wild mushroom ravioli. I had some apprehensions about whether a purely vegetarian meal would fill me up, but amazingly, we were all stuffed! The tartines were simply incredible. The smoked cheese managed to make it taste like there was actually meat in there - Clyde even asked if we were sure that there wasn't bacon in it!


We started off so nice and civilized at Green's...

.. although Eric's wine spill on the table should have,er, tipped us off.
(OK, I admit, I threw a napkin at him.)


Clyde, are you eating an apple slice or a finger?

After dinner, it took us about 3 hours to decide where to go. Eric and I did drive by's of Mr. Smith and Mezzanine, and were scared off by the Marina crowd and hordes of Asian people, respectively. We ended up at the Holy Cow, where we spent all night being horrified by the yuckiness of Girls Gone Wild wannabe's.


Holy Cow!


Introducing Robust-a-move, Robustique...


... Rôbóheaux and Robust-it.


Fernando and Val (not pictured) joins us for the festivities.


Mike makes a brief cameo


Smiling for the camera


Yum. Beer.


It took us long enough, but we're finally drunk - as evidenced by us licking Carolyn's shoe!


"Wait. What were you doing to my shoe?! And why?!"


Turning into a vampire (I was biting ppl all night)


Val joins the fray


Rôbóheaux breaks out the signature dance


Um.


Um, part deux. (Fernando wonders: "What is going on down there?"

We ended up eating crepes, chicken wings and fries at 2am, before we all headed home and fell face down in bed. Good times, good times.