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10.10.2009

glee 1.6: vitamin d

"Glee is about what's in your heart, not what's coursing through your veins."

Wow. I freaking loved "Vitamin D". First of all, they did an awesome Bon Jovi cover - and as a Jersey girl, I am programmed from elementary school to worship them. Both mashups were pure genius, and the episode was a riot, from Finn's drool to Sue's journal. And can I just say, Terri totally owned this episode. I know we're not supposed to like her, but damn if I don't sympathize with her.

GLEEful Moments
Where do I even begin? There were so many good ones, ranging from emotional, to sweet, to just laugh-out-loud funny. I think my favorite was Finn's inner monologue - poor Finn is so overwhelmed with football, "being the Glee stud" and Quinn's pregnancy, that even dropping homework hasn't helped. The drool was hysterical - although that might be because I once fell asleep in class, and woke up with a puddle on my desk.

Rachel made some genuine overtures to Quinn, who is obviously also struggling. She even tells her that she's "actually quite a good singer - even though you're often sharp, but that's because you don't have my years of training." Glee Club is apparently a haven for losers who didn't have friends. While I find this idea sort of insulting (I was in musical theater and no one threw smoothies at me), it is kind of sweet that real friendships are developing between the kids. And I like Quinn. She's not just some dumb cheerleader - although you do need to question any school that would give Terri a 4.0 GPA.

Oh, and Sue's journal. O. M. G. I posted it in its entirety below. It was too much - she's about to turn 30? Beef bones in the juicer? (Gross.) Will's store bought home perm?

TOTW
I continue to thank the Glee gods for tighter storytelling and continued subtlety... this week's theme, competition, was so organic that I didn't even think about it until after the ep was over. It was also addressed in such an absurd way - cold medicine? - that it made its obligatory PSA without being preachy or uncharacteristically dark.

I've read some other reviews that by using decongestants, Glee didn't put enough weight into the seriousness drug use. I wanted to call this out because I've finally made peace with what this show is: ridiculous. Some of the comments from you folks made me realize that I was overanalyzing the characters and the satire; I was looking for deeper meaning in every word, gesture, punchline and song. And in doing so, lost the pure joy that I get from watching it.

So here it is: like Will said, "Glee is about having fun." When we stop having fun, it's time to stop altogether; we're missing the point. Thankfully, Glee has fun by mocking Middle America. I've heard so many people ask how any character could be so stupid not to realize blah blah blah, who would be dumb enough to get high on cold meds. To them I say, you obviously haven't seen the warning label on birth control pills: "Do not use if you are attempting to get pregnant."

Terri, Terri, Terri... *tsk*
Speaking of pregnant and dumb, Terri takes front and center after Sue tells her that if Will isn't already having an affair with Emma, they are on their way. She takes a job as the school nurse to keep an eye on them, even though she doesn't have a lick of training beyond once using a defillibrator. Along the way, she conspires with Ken, has a smackdown with Emma, and wreaks havoc by handing out OTC uppers to the Glee kids. As a result, she's fired and Will is unhappily saddled with his archnemesis as Glee's co-director.

I'm really glad Terri confronted Emma. While I say good for Emma for straight-up saying that "Will deserves much better than you", I gotta say that Terri wasn't altogether wrong. Will is her husband, they are committed to each other (and have been since high school), and Emma is such a paragon of virtue that it's self-righteous. I'm starting to see Terri as more immature/not very bright than manipulative - if you notice, she tends to follow other people's lead (e.g., Kendra and Sue), and, as Will said, doesn't understand the consequences of her actions.

Jessalyn Gilsig just knocked it out of the park this week. She managed to make a shrewish, vapid character both complex and human, sometimes using nothing but her face. In Gilsig's hands, Terri is simultaneously scheming and sympathetic; does really stupid things, but with the intention to help; vulnerable, haughty, vapid, insecure, self-centered, and scared. She was able to convey the hurt and fear a woman experiences at the thought of losing her husband, before masking it with the disdain she wears as an armor around other people - the scene in Figgins' office particularly stood out to me. Her expression after Will blurts out "every time I light a fire in my life, you find a way to make sure it burns the forest down" was downright heart-wrenching.

But I do have a bone to pick. Since when did Terri and Will start having issues? In both the Pilot and "Showmance", it showed them as a loving couple - taking bubble baths together, trying to have a baby. I know we, as viewers, saw the trouble brewing with the hysterical pregnancy and Emma, but it didn't feel like there was a whole lot of marital strain. I know they argued about his career and her Pottery Barn addiction, but couples argue. Yet, suddenly, in "Preggers" (ep. 4), she is telling her sister that Will is already one foot out the door. Really? Is this inconsistent storytelling by the writers, or did I miss something?

And I still don't understand Terri's plan. Is it supposed to be really, really stupid, or are the writers inconsistent?

Mashup: Boys v. Girls
In the end, we never got a verdict on who had the better mashup. Personally, I'm torn. As I said, I'm genetically partial to the boys because of Bon Jovi, and blending "It's My Life" with "Confessions" was a brilliant mix. Especially considering the Finn-Quinn-Puck baby deal. I'm glad that they gave Artie the lead for "Confessions", and for a change, there was no reach to nowhere in the choreography. Ironically, last week Finn's frenetic twitching drove me nuts. This week, when he was supposed to be off-the-wall-hyper, he was actually much smoother.

But I also loved the girls' "Halo/Walking on Sunshine" mix. Partially because "What America needs right now is sunshine. And angels." Mostly because the yellow dresses and head bands were just way too cute. Quinn was actually wearing a Calvin Klein sundress that I'd been eyeing for months - but didn't buy because wearing yellow makes me look like a giant banana. At the same time, I think they might have overdone it with the dancing - it was so maniacal it would have given epileptics a seizure, and there was way too much hair flipping.

So, what's your verdict: boys or girls? As for our star-crossed leads, who else was waiting for him to break into song after she told him she was marrying Ken?

Bits 'n Pieces:
-- Kurt gravitating to the girl's group, and then ratting the boys out for using drugs. "I may have been put into the boys group, but my loyalty lies with you ladies."

-- Speaking of which, did you notice that Mercedes was giving Tina a manicure, and Kurt was doing his cuticles?

-- FIGGINS! I love Figgins! His look when Terri said she once used a defilibrator was delectably lecherous.

-- The Glee kids aren't worried about competing against the school for deaf kids, even though they beat McKinley High in football.

-- I got an evil little thrill when Terri wiped Emma's cup with her finger. I thought Emma was going to have an anuerysm.

-- Some great nicknames: F-Rod, A-Rach. Sue called Emma "Ellen" this week.

-- Ken's suggestion that he and Terri have an affair was suitably horrific.

-- Sorry, but a guy like Kurt would have never suggested cornrows. He's all Miss USA Pageant, not hella ghetto.

-- Yellow everywhere! Emma wore at least one yellow thing with every outfit, the girls wore yellow dresses. Even Terri's tea set was yellow.

-- In this week's fashion news: I'm digging Mercedes with the straight hair, although I never understand how people can handle bangs in their eyes. Terri's hair was very Charlie's Angels. Rachel continues to dress like Sailor Moon, and Emma reminds me of an anime character, with her humungous eyes and pastel wardrobe. Oh - and Rachel's workout tights match her headband.

Quotes:
-- Kurt: "I don't understand how lightning is in competition with an above ground swimming pool."

-- Terri (to Finn): "You have really good bone structure."

-- Finn: "I'd never take steroids. It makes your junk fall off."

-- Ken: "Look at the two of us - you pregnant, me with psoriasis and a testicle that won't descend."

-- Rachel: "I'm sorry I called you contemptible and deplorable."
Finn: "That's ok, I didn't even know what those words meant."

-- Ken: "It's cubic zirconia. I know how affected you were by Black Diamond."

-- Finn: "She kind of freaks me out, in a Swimfan kind of way."

Oblique cultural connection: The guy who starred in Swimfan played Kirsten Dunst's love interest in the original Bring It On.

Terri (about Ken): "His fondue pot of nationalities is going to open up your kids to a host of genetic diseases."

Sue's Corner:
-- Sue: "Let me be frank - your husband is hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farm gift basket that doesn't belong to you."

-- Terri (when Sue says she's gained weight): "I'm pregnant."
Sue: "Well, that's no excuse. I've always thought that the desire to procreate shows deep, personal weakness... don't have the time, don't have the uterus."

-- Sue's Journal Entry:
Dear Journal. Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster...

It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver! That quiver will lose us Nationals. And without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements. And without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.

Glee Club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth breathers, it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything, only to be Shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy misshapen teens.

Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course it's not me. It's Will Schuester. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday...

Of course, it's coming clear to me now. If I can't destroy the club, I'll have to destroy the man!!!
All in all, 3.5 mashups out of 4.

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