much, much better

Thanks to everyone who's been following my posts, and either commenting to me via blog or in person. Those of you who have seen me know that I'm much, much better now than I was at the beginning of the week. I think that letting myself be upset was the wisest thing that I ever did, because there was just so much pent up emotion that it literally took days to get it all out.

On the very bright side, things have progressed at a rapid clip, and are definitely changing for the better. Although I didn't make it to the gym after Pilates last week, I am much more motivated to get active again. Part of that has been letting go of my "diet" and just eating like a normal human being.

T and I have been more than civil - friendly even - and that has helped me feel comfortable again at home. Even if I am moving out, its always the worst when things are hostile or uncomfortable through the last days. Better than that, after seeing what seems like every 1 bedroom/studio in San Francisco, I think I've found the perfect place. *Cross fingers* that my application is accepted.

On the work front, I got a raise (whoo hoo!) and am finally settled in my job. No more one foot in the door, and the other out. We're moving offices, which will be nice, and I'm making plans to get promoted. I'm taking my career seriously.

Last but not least, strangely enough, the best piece of news that I got all week is that ex-Boy has started going on dates with this girl. Given that they are friends, there's a good likelihood that they'll get serious. My initial reaction was of course sort of jealous - definitely had a WTF moment - but frankly, I am relieved. No more ambiguity. No more maybes. We're still friends, its still not completely platonic, but as he said, the boundaries are much more clear cut.

The biggest difference, I think, is that I've finally just stopped comparing myself to other people - whether its a particular person, or a mythical "perfect" that I always fall short of. It helps quite a bit to just see myself as who I am, as opposed to seeing all the things that I'm just not. I definitely have lots of room for growth and improvement, but they are absolute goals measured against what I want, as opposed to relative goals measured against who others are or what I should be.

Finally - peace.