getting it off my chest

I've been pretty frustrated/unhappy recently, and I think its finally coming out. One of the things I'm really bad about is actually acknowledging the things that are not going well in my life, b/c I always feel like its a reflection of what's wrong with me.

As a consequence, I've been on and off blue and stressed lately. Keeping it in has fed my depression and feeling of isolation - so, out it goes!

1. Housing. Situation: sucks. No one is happy, my roommate and I are no longer friends. I'm moving out, which makes me feel stressed and scared, but at least its a change. Everything is on the table about all of our frustrations. Its been so long that I've kept it bottled in, that I'm still emoting even after the conversation. I guess there's nothing wrong with feeling crappy, it needs to happen sometimes.
   
   
2. Boy. I've been on and off in this weird thing with this guy for months. I used to think that it was me, that I just wasn't good enough, but finally I think we've gotten to a point where I get what's going on. I've stopped trying to convince myself that we were just friends b/c I thought that's what I should do. Acknowledging where we really are has done wonders for our ability to relate. We're nothing right now - not really friends, and definitely not anything more - but at least I'm ready to move on and (gasp!) even start dating again.
   
   
3. Body. Wake up call - I've been trying to ignore it for months, but going to physcial therapy today, it really hit me: I'm fat. Not overweight, per se, but I'm yucky and flabby and weak. Its time to get active. Weight be damned, I want muscle!
   
   
4. Age. You guys do not know how much turning 30 has impacted my life. I was down all last year b/c of it, and I kept feeling like I should be farther along at this point. Well. I've just decided to re-age myself: I'm really 27 :-) Just saying that, even 1/2 jokingly, has made me feel tons less stressed.

Isn't it always the same 3 - 4 things in everyone's life? I have finally gotten to the point where I am accepting how things are, rather than how they should be, and that's a huge burden off my chest in itself.

Posting it so publicly forces me to deal with it. Another reason its here? I'm not happy. I don't want to act cheerful or happy when I'm not. Just let me be unhappy, ok? Life kind of sucks right now. I'll bounce. But I gotta do it on my own terms.