baby mani

I went to the local nail salon to get a mani/pedi before my trip to Vegas, and saw the CUTEST thing. This woman came in to get her nails done, and decided to get her granddaughter a mani/pedi as well!



The little girl couldn't have been more than 5 or 6. It was seriously the cutest thing I'd ever seen. Her feet could barely reach the water from the chair!

pick up lines and dinner dates

I was treated to the best pickup line/situation ever when I had to drive to Milpitas to deposit a check at my bank.

I was tired. Frustrated. Feeling queasy from a dinner consisting of popcorn and Sour Patch Kids. And sick of being broke. I'd already gotten lost on my way to Milpitas and back.

Which might explain what possessed me to walk into a Panda Express today.

In the state that I was in, greasy Chinese food looked like just the thing. On my way in, I accidentally bumped into a guy with the door, so I smiled and apologized. Somehow, my instinct to be polite was interpreted as a "hi-I'm-interested" gesture.

"So, do you come here often?" he inquired as we moved up to the fried noodle section.

"Actually, no," I replied. "I live in San Francisco."

"Oh, there are some fiiiiine Panda Expresses up in the city! We should hit it up sometime."

Um. No.

*~*~*~*~*

As soon as I got back to the office I im'd Miriam in a state of panic, and luckily, she suggested an early dinner.Desperate to become a real human being again after a week of poverty and ramen noodles, we actually went to a real restaurant - 2223 - rather than our usual dive ethnic joints. And it was truly a memorable occasion. Not only was it (a) before 9 pm, (b) at a real restaurant and (c) one of the few times where I was wearing real clothes, I was actually early. Miriam wasn't even ready when I came in the cab to pick her up.

2223 was heavenly. I wouldn't say that its the best restaurant in the city (that title is reserved for Panda Express, of course), but it has fantastic comfort food. We started off with appetizers - a homemade mushroom soup with creme fraiche for me, asparagus wrapped in prosciutto for Miriam - and each tried a variation of syrah for wines.

Then came our main courses. Miriam got her favorite roast chicken, while I had a half-order of roasted mussels with andouille sausage and polenta, accompanied by rosemary grilled artichoke with aioli sauce. The mussels were suprisingly good, and the polenta was the creamiest, most delicious blend to ever touch my tongue. Dinner was topped off with a shared caramel latte panna cotta... almost as orgasmic as the molten chocolate cake at Aziza. Almost.

It was a good reintroduction to being a real person, plus it was nice to catch up with Mi. I realized today that she's truly my soul sister. Not only do we have similar perspectives, similar childhood backgrounds, and similar attitudes, but she wears the same shoe size AND looks good in the same shades of lipstick. Plus, I like that she gets the Asian flush (even though she's only half) and I don't.

riding the bus with the big kids

Believe it or not, I actually woke up at 6 and made it to the 7:11 Baby Bullet this morning. It was my first ride on CalTrain, and I have to admit - I was pleasantly surprised! It was very exciting... kind of like the first time you get to take the bus to school with the big kids.

Brian was nice enough to induct me into CalTrain ridership by meeting me for coffee at 7am. Because he was sitting across from me, I managed not to fall asleep and drool all over myself on the way to work. He even drew a nice picture of me on the train, with a timestamp as proof that I made it this morning.


Original artwork by Brian

I made it in to work by 8:30. My boss almost toppled over when she saw me in the office that early, and Rahul is still wishing that he took Leslie's bet that I'd never be in before 9. That's $15 he coulda won.

I hope that more people start riding the train, especially now that they've expanded the Baby Bullet service. Its a risky (and innovative) step for CalTrain to take - to add more trains, rather than cutting back on service in face of the budget crisis.

no. more. gmats. please.

The other night, I had a nightmare that they added three new sections to the GMAT. I literally woke up in a cold sweat. I also no longer know how to add when I'm at the supermarket - instead, I ask myself, "What information do I need to know whether or not I can sufficiently answer this problem?"

This is bad. June 4th cannot come soon enough.

the joys of sheep herding

I just had a rather long phone conversation with Miriam about herding sheep. Apparently, it was on her and her ex-boyfriend's list of breakup activities when they were in Wales.

Sez Ms. Warren:

"Its actually quite a lot of fun. Its kind of like chasing them - its very relaxing, and great exercise. They're such nice, docile creatures."

"Maybe because they're dumb," I replied.

"No," she countered in defense of sheepkind. "I think people give them a lot less credit than they deserve."

Apparently, I am a typical Virgo with weird quirks, like only being able to sleep well in my own bed. Which has nothing to do with sheep herding, but I thought I'd mention it.

happiest & most depressing towns

Men's Health recently came out with a list of the Top 20 Happiest and Most Depressing Towns in the US. A truncated version for discussion purposes:

Happiest Towns:
1. Laredo, TX: A+
2. El Paso, TX: A+
3. Jersey City, NJ: A+
4. Corpus Christi, TX: A+
6. Honolulu, HI: A-
8. San Jose, CA: A-
19. (tie) Sacramento, CA: B

Um, I wonder what these pollees were smoking. Jersey City? For God's sake, the pollution must finally be making them high. And both San Jose and Sacramento making it into the top 20? As someone who's spent more than enough time in both "cities", where the streets are lined with pickup trucks, and downtown consists of the 3 blocks with the most Starbucks, I would say NO.

Most Depressed:
1. Philadelphia, PA: F
2. Detroit, MI: F
11. New York, NY: D-
14. (tie) Yonkers, NY: D, Pittsburgh, PA: D
17. (tie) Long Beach, CA: D, Los Angeles, CA: D

OK, Detroit, Pittsburgh, and LA, I can totally get. And having lived in Philly, where I spent most of my time depressed, I can see how it made the top 20 - but number 1?? What about cheesesteaks? Great restaurants for cheap? Food trucks?

And, hello, people - New York? WTF? Only the greatest city in the States...

Clearly these interviewees' brains are clogged by testosterone - the only way to explain the prevalence of Texas on the Happy list. Maybe we should rename the list to the Top 20 Cities Where We Have a Chance of Getting Laid, and the Top 20 Cities Where We Are Rejected Because We Have a Mullet.

For the complete list, click here.

article: "he sues lover after sex change hitch"

There must be a GMAT question in there somewhere...

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian who became a man to marry a female relative was dumped after the surgery, a newspaper reported Monday.

Twenty-nine-year-old rubber tapper Kuttiyamma, born with both male and female genitals, had been in love with the relative, Laura, 25, for 15 years before having surgery to become a man and change her name to Binu, the Hindustan Times reported.

But Laura became engaged to another man and Binu is suing her for breach of trust after spending 50,000 rupees ($1,150) on the sex change in southern Kerala state.

"She had agreed to marry me after the surgery," the paper quoted Binu saying in the petition. "I took loans to pay the hospital bills."

Laura's fiance has since backed out of the wedding after hearing of Binu. The paper did not say how Laura and Kuttiyamma/Binu are related

Courtesy of Yahoo Oddly Enough news.

how to be a consultant

The HUHCorp site is an excellent source for consultants just starting their careers, or veterans looking for an edge. I am particularly impressed by their Strategy section.

Sometimes, I really miss being a consultant.



Ahhhh. The sweet smell of bullshit.

orkut your dorkut

Our entire apartment building crawled out of bed at approx. 1pm this afternoon, pained and hung over from the Orkut Anniversary party last night at DNA Lounge.

It was truly a family affair. Dave Weekly, Nathan's best friend, was one of the main organizers; Nathan, the official party photographer; and ePop, one of the DJs in the exclusive VIP lounge. Me? I was just along for the ride - for once enjoying a party, rather than organizing it. I escorted Brian, Craig, Cammy and Jason, ran into the long-lost Michael Eakes, and met the infamous Orkut himself! I wonder when I'll get to meet Blogger?

One thing I did learn though: alcohol + antibiotics = not a good combination. I woke up roughly around 5 this morning, face down in my clothes and makeup. Who said that dorks can't party?

Note: I freely admit that I poached the below pix from hinathan.com. Click here for the "official" photo album, and 9,000 more pictures.


The Orkut party was also a fundraiser for Camp Amelia.


David Weekly with Clara, the founder of Camp Amelia.


Orkut, the man himself.


Brian, you will quickly learn that I stick my tongue out in every picture.


DJ ePop spinning in the VIP Lounge


ePop and I review the booty dance.


Getting down, while Brian looks on in fear/embarassment.


The Talented Mr. Eakes, with a very nice girl whose name I can't remember


An Orkut-sandwich.


Um.


Oh, come on - you knew this was going to happen
(they were giving out blinky pens).


Google-boy gets down.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program of GMATs and work...

showers and growers

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Boingboing(.net) Boingboing(.net)

Sorry, too many Sour Patch Kids.

Finally full of energy, and desperate for human company, I went down to bother Nathan this evening, a trip that reaffirmed how disturbingly incestuous Stanford social scene can be. Somehow everyone knows everyone else and has either dated, or wanted to date his or her roommate. Hence, my lack of desire to go to Stanford for bschool, lest I end up dating my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's cousin's fiance's brother. Or something.

In other news, a new study came out of Hong Kong today, the best since the one that showed a correlation between eating fast food and obesity. Titled "Chinese Men Measure Up to Others Below the Belt", the study measured flaccid HK-peni with ones from other region of the world, and found them, er, competitive. Heather and I thought this was good news for Chinese boys, who can bring a copy of this article with them to every date and Tribecca party, but then Eric Pop argued that flaccid penis size means nothing. "There are showers, and there are growers," he said knowingly. We could only nod our heads in awe - after all, he has a PhD and we don't.

BTW, Dingle - "monogamous" and "hemophiliac" do NOT mean the same thing.

my brain is becoming my butt...

... turning into mush, and atrophying from lack of use.

Today was one of the lowest points in my convalescence - low energy all around, no ability to focus for even 5 minutes, and feeling nauseous and tired. I've rallied some since I took 5 1-hour naps since I "woke up", so hopefully tomorrow I'll be lucid again.

My friends are awesome, though. Miriam calls and text messages me frequently, knowing that I can't talk, but also that I'm bored out of my mind without company. Nathan sends me hugs via SMS. But the best is Michelle, who is completely flat broke, yet still bought me a frozen pizza with QUARTERS because I've been craving. She warned me not to consider her my bitch, but I told her that anyone who buys food with quarters has already ventured into bitch-territory.

I'm not contagious anymore, though, and have regained partial use of my voice, so hopefully things will only get better from here. Plus, now I have pizza and 7up.

the perils of internet dating

You know we've all experienced it. Been eyed on the N Judah, knowing you're going to end up on Missed Connections. Gotten emails from 60 year old men looking for a "play-friend." Stalked via IM by guys with IDs like marriedhungmanlooking. But we can all be glad that we're not guys and trying this online dating deal:

[anonymous guy friend:]** well that girl i met on CL, she's a drainer i think; kept switching names back n forth b/t 2 diff ones..
serena: huh?
serena: wtf? what's a drainer
[agf]: like i think she scams guys for meals on CL.. thats my theory
serena: nice
[agf]: ordering lots of food so she can have left overs
[agf]: changing names
serena: omg
[agf]: one second she's nancy
[agf]: next minute she was tina
[agf]: then nancy
[agf]: then tina
serena: what? in her emails or when she talked to you?
[agf]: BOTH
[agf]: she would sign her name in email
[agf]: as nancy
[agf]: then the next few emails she wrote Tina
serena: omg
[agf]: and i was like.. who is tina
[agf]: and she goes.. oh i meant Nancy
serena: excellent
serena: and she orders lots of food to take home???
[agf]: she took off with all the leftover dinner rolls on friday
serena: LOL!

My poor Anonymous Guy Friend. You need to learn to identify the freegans out there:

[n.] People who are concerned so deeply with the social and ecological impact of economic over-consumption that they choose to buy and work as little as possible and, instead, to live directly off the massive waste created by our modern society.

So, the lesson of the day is that if you're going to troll online, you should use a fee-based service like Match. At least you know the chick has enough money to pay the $20 subscription fee.

** Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

i'm turning into bread pudding!

I've lost my voice. I'm in quarantine. The cable is out, and watching grainy 24 nearly made my brain implode. I can't talk to anyone, I can't study, and I've decided that speaking people SUCK. On top of which, the two people whom I might have gotten strep from are both fine enough to be going on with their lives, while I'm sitting at home, surfing for Alias spoilers. Which I wouldn't complain about if I actually found anything.

Its almost as bad as my PG&E days, where I spent every day reading Harry Potter fanfic out of sheer boredom.

Luckily, my dear cousin Kevin sent me a wonderful - and incredibly insightful - article about bread. Kev was this close to getting fired, but he's regained internship status thanks to this: http://www.eskimo.com/~spban/bread.html

Fernando, on the other hand, entirely failed to entertain me. Instead, he went out to play.

fernando: if you're bread pudding then I should stay away from you
serena: you should stay away from me for many, many reasons
fernando: many, many, many reasons
serena: HEY!
serena: i curse you with bread puddingness
serena: may you turn mushy and grow raisins everywhere

When I rejoin the speaking-people world, people who suck will know my wrath.

indulgence does not always lead to well-being

Despite a week of pampering, I still managed to come down with a nasty case of strep throat, complete with fever, body aches, insomnia and sore throat.

On Thursday, I headed to Novella Spa for an early-morning treatment. Usually, I'm a strict IO or Tru girl, but Goldstar Events was offering 50% off the Javanese Beauty Treatment, and I'd never had a body scrub before. So I said, "Heck, why not?" and booked it.

Novella is an interesting spa... not only do they have all the standard treatments, but they also have a bevy of imported (and overpriced) goods from Southeast Asia. The service itself was amazing - I slipped into the most amazingly comfortable robe, and was served ginger tea both before and after - but I wasn't terribly impressed with the treatment itself. I don't think its that Novella didn't do a good job, I think that its just a little outrageous to pay $150 for a body scrub and a mask. I still want to try a wrap, but I think I'll stick to facials and massages for now.

Thursday night, I had Indian food with a friend, where I promptly spilled water all over myself and put rice pudding in my food rather than raita. (It wasn't bad, actually.) On Friday, Brian and I headed to the Opening Night party for some new exhibits at the Yerba Buena Center. I don't know... I don't think I'm very well-cultured or artistically inclined. I thought the photographs being exhibited were rather boring - they definitely didn't strike any emotional chord in me - and was more interested in watching all the hipsters prance around the center.

After sleeping in on Saturday, I headed to my second spa treatment of the week - the Clean Sweep facial at Tru Spa. Although my loyalty is first and foremost to International Orange, Tru is a good backup because IO doesn't offer a broad range of services. For example, although I'm mad about IO's Dr. Hauschka facial, they don't offer microdermabrasion, which I really wanted to try.

Tru does have much to recommend it. I was served champagne, brie, water crackers and grapes upon entering the spa. The facial itself was pretty relaxing, although I would have preferred more of a reflexology emphasis in the hand/foot massage she gave. (IO does an amazing job with the massage during their facials.) And I did come out glowing...

Post-Tru, I drove like a bat out of hell to get home, shower, and meet Heather B back at Yerba Buena. This time, we went to see Alonzo King's Lines Ballet for 1/2 price - courtesy of Goldstar, of course. We had fantastic seats - 4th row right - and the ballet was passionate, moving, and simply amazing.

I'm glad that I had such a great week of pampering and cultural experiences, because now I'm stuck at home with strep, and my doctor has literally forbidden me to go to work until Thursday. Plus we have no cable at home (Comcast finally found us out, those bastards), so its going to be torture just sitting around doing nothing. Ironically, Dr. Knox also strongly recommended that I get a massage, so I'll be at IO tomorrow getting a hot stone treatment.

At least I don't have a brain tumor.

the stupidlog: part 2 of infinity

I tried waxing my eyebrow, but didn't bother to look for the muslin wax remover strips before actually applying the wax. Turns out I placed them in the most obscure place ever - the kitchen! So I spent about 10 minutes frantically looking for them before I finally found one lone strip.

Somehow I managed to get most of it off, but now I have one strangely configured eyebrow. Thank God (and my fabulous hair stylist) for bangs.

I wonder if my mommy was this stupid when she was my age?

crawdad craziness

Today was the day of the big Crawfish Boil, and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. I got a late start this morning (or should I say afternoon?), having a rare opportunity to sleep until noon. I finally arrived at Crissy Field around 3 bearing a vat of jambalaya and cornbread, and the eating of the beer and bugs began!

Wiggy and Brian bought 160 lbs of crawfish (!!!) from god-knows-where, plus there was a keg of beer and a huge jar of seasoning. Even with close to 100 people there, we could barely eat it all... by the time I left around 6:30, there were still about 60 lbs of the creepy critters awaiting their death by boiling.

But it was an amazing day... a great chance to see and catch up with my much-missed cohorts at Telephia, and A LOT of food. By the time we were done, I could barely feel my lips from all the spice and salt of the little suckers. Who knew that eating bugs could be so much fun?

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

We hope this pic will help JG pick up chicks online.

The Barfield family, Amy with baby Thomas.

Oh my good lord, there is so much food!

Ed (my brother) exercising his right to be a glutton.

Amy, hiding.

Pouring the slimy (and live!) little suckers into the pot...

Eric and the keg.

Karen, looking ready for summer.

Me, Karen, Heather and Jenny.

Brian stirs the pot with The Crawfish Paddle.

Boil 'em up with some spice and potatoes...

... and then throw them onto the table for the hordes.

Mmm-mmm. This is a tasty crawdad!

Well, we need to find *something* else to do with the paddle...

Yeah, I know - my inner-Asian is showing. Good Lord, I need to go pass out now.

SO WRONG

Just when you thought people couldn't get any more offensive:

http://durrrrr.blogspot.com/

I need to be smacked. I need to go to confession. I need to stop laughing.

what's with japanese people and toilet paper?

First with the Poop Aid:

A great item for anyone who has trouble pooping
-- makes a thoughtful gift too!
TY435 Poop Aid ~ Unchi Ga Yoku Deru

This cool roll of toilet paper is a unique book of knowledge at your fingertips in one of the most unique places you can put it -- your bathroom. Enjoy looking over the great hints, tips, and general miscellaneous knowledge on a roll of TP, as you relax in the "private library." Pictures, Japanese text and a smattering of funny English mix to give you messages like "Drink something cold soon after waking in the morning." Great for encouraging excrement on the toilet. Also learn the names of Japanese items and food via pictures with vocabulary underneath them. Great gift for anyone who is constipated. Click here to buy.

Now the headset:

sadness: the end of an era

I walked over to Taiwan Point, my favorite neighborhood restaurant, and found out that its been closed down. I actually ran into one of the waiters on the street, and he told me that the new owners are going to open up yet another Cantonese-style restaurant in its stead.

Still craving eggplant with basil, I headed over to another favorite - Thai Spice - and found out that closed down in early March.

I'm so sad. There's virtually no places with Taiwanese food around here, and I'm just not a fan of Hong Kong style Chinese food. Now, all I'm left with is Kitchen Kura. I used to really like Go-Go Cafe, but I'm since I got food poisoning there last week. I guess I'll either have to start cooking, or stop by Cupertino and pick up Taiwanese food on my way back from work.

gack!

I registered to take the GMATs today. So its official - June 4th is the date.

Gack!

That pretty much sums up how I feel. I spent most of the evening making flashcards on algebra, geometry and obscure arithmetic concepts that I haven't used since 7th grade. Seriously. When am I going to use inverted fractional exponents in real life? Or reason through the breeding pattern of Mongolian cattle?

I've still remnants of the food poisoning from Thursday, and a horrible headache. I'm sure that re-learning the area of trapezoids didn't help.

gas stations and herbivores

Despite my exhaustion and queasy stomach, I joined Miriam and friends for drinks and dinner.

I rolled out of a ineffective nap, stuck on my glasses and headed to Madrone, a new lounge in lower Haight. It took a little bit to find, since there's poor signage on the door. The only thing that looked remotely like the address was the Arco gas station... I was starting to wonder if I was still asleep or hallucinating. I was completely out of it, so it wouldn't have surprised me!

After driving around 5 times, I finally found it and joined fflood, Sean, Agnes, Paul, Ashton and Miriam at the lounge. Its a cute little place inside, and both fflood and I inquired about having a party there. Best of all, well drinks are only $2 for M-Th happy hours! I didn't drink, of course, but its good to know :-)

We then headed over to Herbivore for an amazingly yummy and inexpensive vegetarian dinner. I'd been meaning to check this place out, and I'm so glad we did! I had a roasted portabello mushroom sandwich that was just so tasty, and yet not too heavy. I think we might have found a good place for our late-night dinner meetings! I give it 4 out of 5 cowbrains.

a little song, a little dance...

Yesterday, I started my song and dance workshop. Yes, people - I am actually taking a class where I learning how to sing and dance on stage. Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you want to look at it), I won't be performing - the performance date is on the same day as Mission in the Mix, the hip hop dance show that I committed to several months ago.

We started out with "Do a Deer". Ok, its geeky. But its lots of fun! There's only 5 of us, so we get to have input on the songs and choreography that we put together. I'm the only hip hop dancer there, so I'm pushing to add a little booty drop to the mix.

One of these days, I'll be just like Roxie Hart - a STAR! The audience will love me... and I'll love them. And we'll just loooove each other, because none of us got enough love in our childhoods.

Um. Just kidding?

rats with wings

OMG, we have a pigeon stuck in our fireplace!



Somehow it flew in through the chimney a couple of days ago, and it can't get out. Heather and I were home doing some spring cleaning today, and we did everything we could to try to get it out without having it sh*t all over our living room. We even tried to build a pigeon trap by putting some crackers into a trash can, but no dice.



What a dumb creature. I really hope that we get it out before it dies of hunger or something. We tried recruiting Nathan to help, but he's all out of ideas to pigeon-free our house.



Damn.

a girl's day

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

~ Laurie Kuslansky

There are just some days where you know how fortunate you are by the girlfriends that you have.

After days of rain, the weather cleared up for a gorgeous Friday. Today was Laura's last day working at eBay (haha, I'm her client!) so we went to lunch with Marie and Marissa.

It was great to see Marie again. We'd only met a couple of other times, most notably during Halloween 2003, but she's totally fun. As a bonus, she also works in my building, and was enthused about going to the eBay gym with me! I'd been looking for a workout buddy for a while to motivate me, and just the other day, Virginia and I made a pact to finally go to kickboxing every Wednesday. Now I have another gym/lunch buddy, which will make the long commute down worthwhile.

After work, I swung by Victoria's Secret to stock up on some basics. I'd always been a staunch no-underwire girl, but after being refitted, the sales girl convinced me to try on some of their more comfortable underwire bras. Its like a whole new world opened up! I'd always been limited to super-boring basics because of my aversion to underwire (90% of the bras out there have underwire), so now I can pick so many more styles. Yay!

I rushed home and met up with Michelle and Becky for some crispy Hong Kong noodles at Go-Go Cafe, and then we headed out to - you're not going to believe this - an Asian party. Not only an Asian party, but a Tribecca party. Surprisingly, I had a good time. We were at a mellow new bar on Geary called Alpha Bar, and we hung out with the owners for a while.



Of course, to prepare myself for the Asianess, I had quite a few drinks. Michelle was already on a roll, and this led to some interesting encounters. First, Michelle dared me to kick her ass, so I gave her a huge wedgie - she had to go to the bathroom to fix it :-) Then, Becky and Mich dared me to moon the Toyota dealer guy who was still working at midnight. Somehow, we ended up in caloric stupor at Jack in the Crack, before we headed home.