i hate drivers day

Maybe I'm just dumb, or East Coast, or something, but WHY are stupid people allowed to operate a 2 ton vehicle?

#1: The I-Coast-in-the-Left-Lane Driver. Today I sat behind a BMW 7-series that was going exactly 65 miles an hour for 10 miles, in the left most lane. Granted, this guy was your stereotypical fat computer slob, complete with long greasy hair, glasses, talking on his cell phone while munching a donut.

Dood, I can understand why you can't walk very fast, but there's a reason you have a car. There are even signs to remind you:

My mommy always told me that if I went to school, studied hard, and did well, I'd be able to have a good job and buy a nice car one day. Clearly, being able to read has nothing to do with owning a nice car.

#2: The Let's-Lock-Someone-In Driver. Of course, the obvious thing to do would have just to go around him, pass him, whatever, right? I was foiled by BMW-slob's counterpart - the woman driving in the lane right next to me, who was going exactly the same speed. Was there anyone in front of her? Nope. Was there anyone to the lane right of her? Nope. So why did it not occur to her that I might be locked in? Might have something to do with the fact that she was checking her makeup the entire time she was driving.

#3: The I'm-Just-Plain-Stupid Driver. Sometimes, there's no other classification for a driver beyond just stupid. Yesterday, as I was trying to pull out of the parking lot by my house (no spaces), some little Asian homie in an Integra pulls up right in front of me, completely blocking me from exiting. I couldn't get around him, because, of course, he's in the center of the exit. So I tap my horn a couple of times - first, politely, and then not so politely. And dood guy is honking back, but not moving! Finally, he has the audacity to roll down his window and ask, "Why are you blocking the entrance, b****?"

I kindly informed him that his car was preventing me from moving further into the street, and that if I went back into the parking lot, there would be no room for either of us to get out. I then helpfully suggested that he stop playing with his tiny little penis, and move out of my way.