week 2: indecision

Warning: I took this week's pictures at night, after a big bowl of ramen soup, so they are slightly terrifying. But I didn't want to forget to take them this week - at the very least, it should keep me from gaining weight.

I always get to this point about this time of the month: two weeks before my period, when bloat overcomes me and I feel like I can't even see my feet. I become frustrated and feel fat; my clothes don't zip well and I just want to gulp down a bottle of Metabolife and call it a day.

Considering that I just made the decision not to aim for a size 4 (eg not dieting) but to trim my fat and be a happy size 6, I'm at a loss. What should I do? To diet or not to diet?

On the one hand, I think my original reasoning is valid: I can't sustain a size 4, even if I get there. I don't want to starve myself or deprive myself of the enjoyments of life, such as good food and alcohol. On the other hand, I have regained a good 8 of the 20 lbs that I lost last year, and at this time of month, even my size 6's feel tight.

*~*~*~*
Week 2 Stats:

• Weight: 129.2
• Body Fat: 27.3%
• Gym: 1 hour body workout on Thurs, Pilates on Sat

Accomplishments:

• Started working out with my new "personal trainer" - my friend JK, who has the amazing ability to drag me to the gym, even when I'm about to fall asleep. I'm happy that I pushed him to push me
• Went to Pilates and got my ass kicked. Yay!

Things to Improve Upon:

• OK, the excessive eating has got to stop (as well as the drinking). Sat night included a Swedish dinner for Rob's graduation that was not only cream-filled, but alcohol-filled. I was so hungover today that I scarfed down Chicken Hash and a Cheddar Cheese biscuit
• If I'm going to do Core, I should do Core, not loosely use Core as a template. That was very not good of me this week.
  

Week 2 Goals:

• Gym 3 times: Tues/Thu with JK and Wiggins, and maybe Monday
• Start Jazz class at CCSF
• Get back on Flex (like to eat too much!) and go to a WW meeting

I think, for now, that I will keep plugging away at the gym and continue eating healthy. Even on maintenance points, I'm still cheating quite a bit. If I set my goal realistically - eg, lower on the size 6 range so that I'm still that size during bloatime, I think I should be ok. So, I guess weight range would be 123-ish when I'm not filled with water, and closer to 128 when I am. Right now, I'm still closer to 128 on a good day.