trading one poison for another

Today, I officially begin my 30 day alcohol abstinence, which is the first phase of the moderation management program. Technically, it will be a smidge over 30 days, since I plan to go until the end of May.

I knew I was planning on doing it, but this morning really nailed it for me. I'm tired of waking up on Sat or Sun mornings, and realizing that I'd blown all of my hard work in one night. I'm tired of feeling bloated/hung over/lethargic from drinking too much the night before. I'm tired of not really being sure what my weight is, because I'll be up on the weekend after drinking, and back down mid week.

Since I've started this weight loss effort 7 weeks ago, I've learned an awful lot about myself. Part of that is that I don't have very good control when it comes to food, alcohol, and money. I'm sure in these 30 days I will dig deeper into why I overeat/drink/spend. It'll be a pain at parties, but I'm happy to take the weight loss benefits of abstinence as a trade off.

*~*~*~*
But I can't give up coffee. Won't give up coffee. I tried and succeeded for about 2 years, but just love the taste of it too much. A cup of decaf turned into 1/2 decaf-1/2 regular, which turned into a full cup of regular, and now 2 cups a day. I'll work on minimizing this particular poison, since I don't particularly need a hole in my gut, but on mornings like today, its a life saver.

weight loss diary, week 6 of 15

Considering that on Friday night, I went to Myth for Agnes' bday dinner, then to Pink for drinks, and scarfed down popcorn when I got home, I didn't do all that badly points-wise. I was about 10 points over my target of 178.5 (which comes out to 25.5 per day), but still under the upper limit of 189 (27 points per day) - the amount recommended by my nutritionist, Janet McBride, for weight loss.

This is a nice surprise, considering how horrid I felt yesterday. Bleh.

*~*~*~*
Week 6 Stats, 4/16 - 4/22

• Weight: 128.5lbs - up from this week's low of 126.8
• Body Fat: 27.5%
• Body Fat #s Lost: 0.54lbs
• Total Points: 188.5

Workouts:

• Sun, 4/16: Flow Yoga, 40 mins
• Mon, 4/17: Weights, 60 mins
• Tues, 4/18: Cardio Kickbox and Sculpt, 35 mins
• Fri, 4/21: Cardio Kickbox and Sculpt, 25 mins

No pics this week - camera broken :-(

So I've posted my weight graph instead.

Accomplishments:

• Stayed pretty well below my points allowance of 25.5 most of the week - even below 20 on some days. And wasn't hungry! :-)
  
• Behaved at dinner at Myth on Friday night. I usually just eat and eat and eat when I'm at nice restaurants like this. However, I limited myself to small servings of the foie gras pasta, risotto, lamb and pork, and got a grilled scallops entree. I turned down bread, Walu fish, soup, and the beef cheek ravioli. [The strategy: Ate a serving of salad and roast chicken before going, so I wasn't starving for dinner.]
  
• Moderated my drinking on Friday night: 2 glasses of wine at dinner, 1 beer, and 2 champagnes at Pink. I also drank water between every glass, and decided on 5 as my upper limit. And you know what? I'm a cheap date! I was good and toasted with 5 drinks (I usually go waaaaaay past that).
  
• Did an hour of weight training on Monday, despite exhaustion.
  
• Went to a meditation session on Tues with Carolyn. I didn't really like it, but I tried it.
• Made the decision to start an abstinence program for alcohol. See more below.

*~*~*~*
What Helped Me:

• Renewed optimism. After last week's fiasco, I decided to start over again without guilt. It helped!
• Admitting that I have to do something about my drinking consumption. I was surprised by the number of people who not only supported me, but thanked me for being honest enough to talk about it. Its so taboo.
• Commitment to growth. Seeing my weight loss as a microcosm of part of a larger growth journey has been significant in turning things around in my life.
  
• Taking responsibility for my actions. I finally dealt with all my car/DMV bullsh*t on Monday, despite my absolutely utter impatience with the situation. TS says I'm learning to delay gratification, which is one of the biggest steps to being responsible.
• Mom! Love her! Love the puppy!
• Michelle, my most fabulous acupuncturist - whose dedication to my well being is just amazing.

What Hurt Me:

• Surprisingly, my car. I've noticed that now that I have it back and functioning, I walk A LOT less... mostly because I don't have to trek to public transpo. Also, I don't know - its like a safety net, and I find myself running late again. I'm going to try to adjust that.
• My freaking TMJ! I'm so over this jaw pain. I didn't work out on Thurs because of it, and I'm not sleeping well again.
• The general lessening of enthusiasm that comes with a long term commitment. Ah well. I'm still following the plan, just not thinking about it. Is that good, in that its becoming a part of my life? Or bad, because I'm not focusing as much?
  

*~*~*~*
Week 7 Goals

• Work out at the gym again. Its great that I'm working out at home - hey, better than nothing, right? - but I am still paying for a gym, and I feel like I'll get a better workout there. At the very least, I'll feel more fierce. I'll decide at the end of June whether or not I want to quit.
• Workout Schedule:
  ~ Today: Bikram
  ~ Mon (maybe): Spinning. Monday are "me" days
  ~ Tues: Bhangra / Elliptical and Weights
  ~ Thurs: Boxing
  ~ Sat: Elliptical and Weights
• Go to WW meeting this week. I've used up all of my missed meetings allowance :-(
  
• Get Responsible Drinking book and start 30 day abstinence program
• Target: 25.5 points per day, 17.5 APs per week
• Really lose that pound. I mean, its been going back and forth for 3 damn weeks!

i can't help it

But I love Alias. Even though its not nearly as good as seasons 1 and 2, I was still *thrilled* when it came back for its final episodes on Wed. Just the opening credits make me happy. Since its been on maternity leave for so long, I thought I might not miss it when it ends in May. How wrong I was...

anger, ignorance and perception of the jelly doughnut

Last night, I went with Caro to check out a beginner's meditation class at the Kadampa Buddhism Centre. I already felt considerably lighter after resolving the DMV/Car/Traffic Court issues on Monday, as well as finally finishing up my taxes.

Kadam Lucy was a great speaker - quite personable, humble and humorous. Unfortunately, I'd also just worked out (kickboxing with weights) and didn't stretch properly afterwards, so I was sore and in pain the whole session through. I was also bothered by the lights being on the whole time of the meditation, and the temple felt a bit too much like a church to me - my Catholic guilt just kicked in.

However, we did learn that the three delusions are anger, ignorance and perception of the jelly doughnut. We're not really sure what she was talking about with the third one, but something to the extent of we believe that the jelly doughnut will bring us happiness, but the delusion is in our projected happiness not the actuality of the jelly doughnut.

It felt a little bit like the spoon scene in the original Matrix.

I'm not sure if I'll go back, but I made Caro a deal that if she checked out Kundalini yoga with me, I might go with her again. Ultimately, I think I just needed something more physical - I'm still somewhat stuck on Bikram - or at least a chair where my feet reach the floor.

world famous bulgarian bbq

... that had no BBQ.

Such was the claim of this year's Benitez-Marinov bday party, celebrating the bdays of my favorite internationalies - Gerardo and Alex.

I've known Gerardo since college, where we lived three doors down from each other. Almost all of my crazy senior-year tales involve him, including the time we played Ricky Martin in the stairwell at 3am during a fire drill (ppl in our building were severely pissed), the "Gerardo, save me. Gerardo, kiss me!" incident with Becky aboard the Booze Cruise, and streaking down Walnut Walk in a drunken haze.

At yesterday's party, I remembered just how and why we were such good friends :-)

I met Alex through Gerardo, when the three of us started studying for the GMATs together. Gerardo only dates Bulgarian girls, and as Alex is Bulgarian, my first question to him when I met him was whether or not Gerardo had switched teams.

Alex and Gerardo always go all out, and this year, they planned a BBQ with a live band and tons of booze. "Planned" being the operative word, as it rained most of the day yesterday, and so the BBQ'ing portion did not occur. So many people came to the party hungry, that at around 6:30 there was a migration of 1/2 the guests to dinner. We all came back, of course (Fernando and I went to Koo and had not one, but FOUR Spoonfuls of Happiness), and the party continued on into the night. Minus a fridge full of beers and raw sausages, that is.

Drinking since 5pm? Even though it was beer, its still not great for your diet...


Me and Gerardo - blurry, but not yet drunk


The band






Norell, Gerardo and Carolina


Nothing says "classy alcohol" like a foil-lined box


Fernando and one of his many beers of the night

amazon kicks ebay's butt!

Well, everyone knows that I hate eBay with a passion after working there. But it had its uses as a site - where else could you sell the stuff you didn't want, or find really cheap something-or-others?

Apparently, Amazon.com.

I've always loved Amazon for purchasing books and music, and even some other stuff from their new "stores". However, I never thought about selling anything on there. Lately, however, I've built up a collection of fitness DVDs that I will probably never use. So late Friday night, frustrated with eBay's horrid seller UI (not to mention lack of sales), I went ahead and posted them on Amazon.

Besides the fact that it was SO SIMPLE - literally took me about 10 mins to post all my fitness DVDs, plus a season of Smallville and Alias, in the last 2 days, I've already sold 5 out of the 10 things I posted. Plus, the fees are actually quite a bit lower than eBay charges, Amazon.com credits you shipping, and you know what you will get for your item, which makes it less of a gamble to post a low price.

If you've got something to sell, check it out. I give it 5 stars.

weight loss dairy: week 5 of 15

I realized this week that not only had I fallen off the wagon a few times since I started, I've only been half on from the beginning.

After the 3rd week of going over my points due to alcohol, I've decided that its time to take a good, hard look at my drinking, and start looking at ways to moderate it. I don't think I have a drinking problem like alcoholism, per se, but I definitely drink enough and do enough dumb things that cutting back a little bit wouldn't hurt.

In that vein, I've ordered two books off of Amazon: one about social drinking and another about responsible moderation. At the very least, it'll save me some money when I go out to clubs ;-)

*~*~*~*
Week 5 Stats, 4/9 - 4/15

• Weight: 130.5lbs (OUCH!)
• Body Fat: 29.5%
• Body Fat Lost: -0.69lbs
• Total Points: Don't ask.

Workouts:

• Goal: Work out 4x this week, including 1 weight training
• Mon, 4/10: Walked 10,000+ steps
  
• Tues, 4/11: Cardio Kickbox, 45 mins
• Fri, 4/14: Ran 10 minutes

Accomplishments:

• Even though the intent was for a cheeseburger and fries on Fri night, I got a veggie burger, no bun, and salad
• I celebrated the end of Lent on Thurs night with rotisserie chicken (breast meat), salad and rice, rather than the original idea of In-n-Out Burger.
• Found that I was turned off to grease, and that I learned to listen to my body. Even though I could have gorged on Thurs, I stopped when I felt full
• Went to my 2nd WW meeting on Thurs
• Made a commitment to myself to lose weight and moderate my alcohol intake

*~*~*~*
What Helped Me:

• My friends are wonderful. Seriously. Maybe it didn't directly affect my diet in itself, but this week, I realized that my friends will love me whether I'm 128lbs or 120; whether I have a cool little Mini or a cheap little Honda. This is a great revelation.
• My ExP and WW support network. Not only has it been helpful to blog to acknowledge my struggles, the ExP ladies in particular have been a source of inspiration, validation, and support. Without a doubt, despite my failings and struggles, this time I know I can do it because of them.
• Introspection and therapy. My therapist is fantastic, but I also have been more introspective and actually applying changes. Being able to recognize my weaknesses and address them, rather than self-flagellation and avoiding them, has made me feel more optimistic about my changes.

What Hurt Me:

• Stress about $$ and car. Sigh. I can't wait to get rid of that car - no offense to my baby. Its through no fault of its that I haven't handled things responsibly.
• ToM and medication. I was totally unbalanced at the beginning of the week thanks to my ToM and my medication running out at the same time. Boy howdy, can we say mood swings?
• Alcohol. I think I've said enough about that one :-)

*~*~*~*
Week 6 Goals:

• Get [back] on track. I've adjusted my allowed points back to 26, because 25 was stressing me out. I'd rather be slightly over points than try to meet them and just totally pig out.
• Incorporate meat into a healthy diet. It will be the first time that I'll be cooking meat since I started this diet.
• Work out 4x this week, including 1 weight training. I won't make my AP challenge because I only earned 7 APs this week, but I'm not going to try and overdo it. As Juni said in her post, when we try and be perfectionists about working out and plan for 1.5 hours at the gym, we end up not going to the gym at all. Getting in 20 mins of cardio is better than nothing.
• Points Target: 25.5 per day, 17.5 APs for the week.
  
• Go to WW meeting on Thurs with JH
• Walk 6,250 steps a day
• Finish weeks 1 and 2 of BI
  

*~*~*~*
You may wonder why I decided to start my weight loss diary for the week with tidbits about my drinking. Well, besides the obvious correlation - I eat more when I drink, and alcohol has a lot of calories in itself - its part of my bigger effort to become responsible and understand myself/my motivations.

The weight loss journey has really helped me unearth some nuggets of insight about my behavior and motivation that I either knew intellectually, but didn't apply in actuality, or didn't realize until I stopped to think about why I was doing certain things with food. (See my previous post about WW meetings below.) There are three areas in particular where I feel out of control: eating, drinking and money. Understanding and learning how to manage those three are tangible ways of approaching my core issue - managing my emotions, boundaries and intimacies.

That being said, I was not even remotely on the wagon this past week in terms of weight loss. Halfway through the week, I 'd already been up and down in lbs, thanks to my ToM, end of ToM, and then a nasty evening on Friday. By Saturday, I'd blown away all my points already - Caro and I went for a commiserative burger on Friday evening at Harry's - and any attempt to "catch up" was wasted as soon as I stepped into Gerardo and Alex's bday party. Several beers later, I found myself at Popeye's at midnight munching on the last fried drumstick.

The funny thing is, I don't feel guilty. I've accepted it and moved on, and got right back on plan - albeit modified to fit with my lessons learned - this morning. However, I'm NOT taking the pics for this week. Accountability is one thing, but the last thing I need is to feel even worse about myself after the week I've had.

[Incidentally, since I'm moderating my drinking and not abstaining, I find this site quite useful.]

Cheers, and on to the next...

"i bet there has to be a market for strap ons for dolls"

So said Fernando after Thing-O molested him in his sleep.

switching to boobs

No, not that way, you pervert.

Today was officially the end of Lent, and I celebrated with some Good Frickin Chicken. Yes, you heard me right. It was good frickin chicken.

I'm rather proud of myself for my choice. I always plan this big-ass meatfest whenever Lent ends, and I originally planned to go to In-N-Out for burgers. But I just couldn't do it, not after how hard I've worked on my diet for the last 4 weeks. GFC was a good alternative. At 14 points, it was still an indulgent meal. But one that's overall healthier than a burger and fries.

I've been grappling with how to go back to meat and still stay on track with the diet, and one thing that I'm going to have to do is switch to white meat with poultry. *Wrinkle nose* Growing up Asian, I abhor white meat - its so dry! But its so much healthier than dark, so chicken boob it is.

Oh yeah - Good Frickin Chicken was good frickin chicken!

"hi, is there something you want to tell me?"

I talked to Jamie, my best friend from college today, after months of busy-ness for both of us. He called me after I left the following voicemail on his cell:

Hi, have you had a sex change? Call me.

When I called his cell, the voicemail message was completely professional, but recorded in a female voice. Since Jamie and his voice are both distinctly male, I just figured it was his girlfriend.

In the middle of the conversation, Jamie wondered why I kept bringing up the sex change deal.

Me: Well, you know the voice on your vm message is female, right?
Jamie: No! Are you serious?
Me: Yeah - why would I leave a message like that otherwise?
Jamie: I just figured you were being a smartass.
Me: Well, I am... but there's a reasoning for it.
Jamie: Holy crap, someone must be playing a joke on me. I didn't even know!
Me: I wonder why none of your other friends have mentioned this to you?
Jamie: So do I...

We parted with his vow to call his own voicemail and get to the bottom of this. I'm glad Jamie is still a guy, because at 6'4", he's really too tall and too hairy to make a good woman.

Lesson of the Day: Check your outgoing message occasionally, and follow up on any inquiries regarding sex changes.

really important world news

Made my day...

(If you can't read these articles, click on them for the full-sized image.)

umbrella traffic

Dear Rain,

Please. Just. STOP.

Thank you.
Serena & the rest of San Francisco

babies!

Dad sent me pictures of my babies today. I'm so proud that they figured out how how to load pictures from the camera on to the computer :-)







My Brindo's gotten so big! I totally miss them...

weight loss diary: week 4 of 15

I'm cranky. I'm bloated. I have my ToM, and the hangover from hell. The light bothers me and the dark bothers me. I can't keep my eyes open and I can't sleep.

And yet, I diligently took my pictures despite the 3+ lbs of water weight (I am guessing) that I've got in me right now. The side profile just looks horrendous!

*~*~*~*
Week 4 Stats, 4/2 - 4/8

• Weight: 128.5 lbs
• Body Fat: 28.5%
• Body Fat Lost: 0.21 lbs
• Total Points: 184.5 (target = 178.5)

Pictures:













4/9/06. Definitely some grossness from the ToM (not to mention the hangover), but strangely enough, my strapless bra feels looser around the chest. I wonder if I'm losing chest or boob?

Workouts:

• Goal: 3 workouts this week, including 1 weight training
  
• Tues, 4/4: Kickboxing, 30 mins; Arms, 30 mins
  
• Wed, 4/5: Cardio, 30 mins; Arms on BOSU, 30 mins
  
• Sat, 4/8: Kickboxing, 35 mins; Cardio 20 mins; Pilates, 15 mins
  

Accomplishments:

• Ate healthy despite having lunch at Old Ship, a pub. Got an ahi tuna sandwich, no bun, olive tapenade on the side; side salad with balsamic dressing; and water. Everyone else had burgers, beer and fries.
  
• Planned for crepe dinner on Sat night.
  
• Work goodness.
  
• Got in 15 APs. Still short of the 17.5 I need, but I'm just getting back into it! I'll make it up next week.
  

*~*~*~*
What Helped Me:

• The joy of home workout DVDs. Most of them are geared towards beginners, but I've found a couple that I really like. They're time-flexible, which means that I have NO EXCUSES for skipping workouts now! On Wed, I was exhausted, and there was no way I was going to make it to the gym. So I came home, took a nap, and then did a long-ass workout.
  

What Hurt Me:

• Surprise - Alcohol again! At least I didn't binge eat afterwards, and the thought of food today makes me want to hurl. But I polished off about 8 - 9 glasses of wine last night, and now I want to die.
  

*~*~*~*
Week 5 Goals:

• Work out 4x this week, including 2 sessions weight training.
  
• Go to Bhangra class! Actually making it to the gym would be wonderful.
  
• Incorporate lower body strength training into my work out.
  
• Target Points: 25 per day.
  
• Earn 18.5 APs this week
  
• Steps: 6,000 per day
• Weight Watchers meeting on Friday - I didn't go AGAIN!
  
• Weight: 128 lbs
• Finish week 1 of Body Intelligence program - I'm behind
• Make flashcards for the Shape program
• Get my freakin car back!

Hmm. I just realized that I haven't made very much progress on my Week 3 goals. What was I doing all week?? At least I am starting to like the way my face looks in pictures - no more double chins - and my arms aren't nearly as meaty as they used to be.

crêpes and wine

On Friday afternoon, Karen and I decided to do an impromptu dinner on Saturday where the main goal was to stay in and drink wine. It quickly turned into a gathering of 7 people and we didn't stay in... but we did drink a lot of wine.

Heather, Karen, Agnes, Fernando and the two Eric's headed over. Pretty much everyone brought a bottle of wine (or 2... or 3) and we started drinking as we waited for EricPop to arrive. We knew he would be late - he was moving that day out of Casa 420 to our 'hood, and was still packing at 3:30 in the afternoon.

Instead of making the crêpes and filling for everyone, we set up a "filling bar" and let people choose what they wanted. Then EricH and I - ok, mostly Eric - would help us make it in the pan. The spread included smoked salmon, prosciutto, mozarella, cheddar, brie, tomatoes, sauteed mushrooms, eggs, scallions, and fresh parsley and basil. But my biggest accomplishment that night was the caramelized onions that I made for the first time. They were just a little burnt, because the initial temperature I had the pan on was too high, but ended up sweet, savory and delicious!


The filling bar


Crepe and Agnes' filling choices


Eric is on the phone, as usual ;-)

We also had a salad with the infamous French homemade balsamic, baked tomatoes, and a healthy version of green bean casserole, made with fresh green beans, broccoli, baby carrots, cauliflower and low-fat cream of mushroom soup. It was considerably better for you than the traditional recipe, but French's fried onions were still 1093 calories for the topping!

ePop finally arrived, and of course, the raunchy talk started. Most of it is inconsumable by the public, but the quote of the night has got to be: "Oho! With what color would you like me to impale you with?"


ePop is veeeeeeery hungry


We love wine


The last remnants of 1259, before it officially became Casa 420


Karen, striking a pose

After dinner and dessert, which consisted of crêpes with nutella and strawberry, Grand Marnier and strawberry, and dark chocolate and banana, ePop's friend Carlos ("Spicy Eggs!") came to pick us up and we headed for a loft party also in Potrero. Unfortunately, I was already pretty drunk by that point which means - you guessed it! - I drank more. I'm unclear if I drank another bottle of wine there, or if I spilled most of it. It seems like there was a lot of spillage caused by me last night, but from the state of my head today, at least some of it got into me.


"Ok, Karen, how many times are you going to take this picture?"


FERNANDO! Where is your head?!


Cute group pic

*~*~*~*
This morning, I woke up completely confused. Why was I sleeping on the couch, why was Fernando sleeping on the loveseat, and why was Heather in my bed? Apparently, after we left the party, EricH dropped us home and we all sort of passed out.

But not before playing some random musical sofas. Heather was on the big couch, but when she went to get up to use the bathroom, Fernando took it over. Despite poking him for several minutes, he didn't budge. For some reason, I ended up passed out on top of him (not like that) so Heather just went into my room. When Eric and Agnes came back, we were so out of it that the two of them cooked more crepes at 4 in the morning, and we didn't even have an inkling!

At 8:45 am, my alarm went off, which prompted Heather to come out and complain. I decided to go back to sleep in my bed, Fernando crawled into Phillipe's (without bothering to move the laptop on it) and Heather was "just going to lay down until my head stops hurting." At around 1pm, her head finally stopped hurting - in other words, she was passed out cold for 4 hours. "Has Fernando already left?" she said, coming into my room. "Nope - he's still immobile," I replied, pointing to the heap.

We finished off the crêpes for brunch and then started our days around 2. By passing out again.

Blech. I feel less than human right about now.

a rainy evening walk

Tonight, I had a guided meditation session after work. I felt so at peace and relaxed with my new awareness of the world that, instead of calling a cab, I decided to take a leisurely trip through Noe and the Mission before heading home.

First, I stopped in a little coffee shop across the street from my session called Cafe XO. Adorable! It was cozy warmth in the midst of chilly rain, and I just sat with a cup of tea, observing the other patrons.

Then I hopped on the J train to 16th and Church, and walked over to Ti Couz on Valencia. Luckily, I had my umbrella (which I almost never carry with me), so I was able to stroll through the on-and-off rain. I picked up a dozen savory and sweet crepes for our impromptu dinner tomorrow night, as well as some mushrooms, eggs, tomatoes, fresh herbs and fruit. While I was waiting, I made some calls to mes amis, inviting them to me and Karen's last-minute hibernation and wine feast.

As I was talking to Eric Pop about his imminent move out of Casa 420, the 22 pulled up and I almost got run over crossing the street on a red light! But I made it to 17th and Rhode Island in one piece, and waited in the rain for the 19 to come. The guy who was waiting with me hailed down a cab in inpatience (the 19 comes once every 10 years, it seems), and as he was getting in, he asked me where I was headed. Since we were only a block away from each other, he motioned for me to hop in, which I gratefully did.

I fumbled around my purse for some money to give him, but he shook me off. "Don't worry," he said. "I was going this way anyway." As I clambored out of the cab with my bookbag, purse, umbrella and 3 bags, I could only be grateful for the ride. "I hope you have a fantastic weekend despite the rain," I said, waving him away. Then came home and settled in for the night.

It was actually quite a lovely evening.

a pisser of a day

Hopefully, it will lead to nice arms.

It started off promising... weather cleared up, I got to work early. But then I had a totally unpleasant debate with this a**hole who works here. I swear, this man has NO social skills, emotional intelligence or anything that makes him remotely personable. I already had to step in and stop a shouting match that he was having at my team on Monday morning. Then today, he comes downstairs to lecture me about why the solution I proposed for a problem caused by his irresponsibility is wrong because, essentially, I'm a moron.

Well, the way he put it was, "You clearly don't understand how this works." I reiterated several times that I did in fact understand how it works, I just disagreed. I finally had to tell him that while I appreciated his effort to explain, I did NOT appreciate his condescending attitude towards me just because I did not agree.

Truth be told, I'm rather proud of how I handled him. It just left me irritable the rest of the day.

I wanted to burn off the anger by working out, so I went to the 24 Hour Fitness near A's place. I got even more pissed when the salesguy that I had to talk to for my free pass totally wasted my time, was completely inflexible, had the nerve to argue with me, and then tried to charge me $15 for the workout because I wouldn't buy his pitch. His manager actually came out because I "looked like [I] was ready for a smackdown." I replied, "If I were thinking about joining the club, your employee just changed my mind."

As it turned out, this sales associate was young, dumb and had already gotten a talkin-to because of this before. As his manager said, "I just told him today that selling is not an argument you can win." The manager gave me a 30 day pass, apologized, and sent me on my way.

When I finally got around to working out, I hit the gym HARD. I tried out their pathetic Turbo Kick Box class. Lame-o! Instructor couldn't even punch, much less do any good combos. It was like a glorified step class with "punching" and "kicking". So I skipped out after 10 minutes, rowed furiously for like 35 seconds, and almost passed out from exhaustion! I managed to stay on for another 10 minutes before I finally gave up and just pounded on the treadmill.

Then I grabbed some hand weights, a stability ball, and thought about all the people I wanted to beat up. That motivated me to work out my arms, my chest, and my abs. I want to look hot when I beat them up.

Now I'm super-sore from idiotically doing 2 days of intense arm work in a row. And I'm going boxing tomorrow... At least everything turned out good, and I feel great from working out.

yay! computer fixed

Turned out it was my motherboard, so I didn't end up losing any of my data. Phew!

i showered three times today

Why? Because I worked out! BOOYAH!

Ok, the 2nd time was because I went to get a massage and had oil in my hair and on my skin. Considering how desperately tired I was, I wanted to get in a good nap, and knew I wouldn't be able to sleep with all that oily nastiness.

But I did 30 mins of cardio kickboxing and 20 mins of weight training for upper body, all in the comfort of my lovely home. Sometimes I really love fitness videos, especially on crappy days like this.

Speaking of which, I am so over this weather.

never try cooking brown rice in the microwave

Tonight, in my ill-fated attempt to concoct a vegetable pot pie from scratch, I managed to perform the most spectacular microwave disaster in my 30 years of life.

Let me just preface that by saying that I've had some truly awe-inspiring microwave disasters, a la exploding eggs. (Who knew you couldn't boil a whole egg in the nuker... sans water?)

My idea: Veggie pot pie topped with mashed parmesan cauliflower. I usually make chicken pot pie with a Bisquick crust, chicken veggies and chicken gravy, and mashed potatoes. Well. I was trying to watch the calories, so I thought to substitute mashed cauliflower for the potatoes, and I couldnt use chicken gravy because I gave up chicken for Lent. So I had the brilliant thought of making a veggie gravy from vegetable broth and flour.

I was already in a terrible mood. I'd not yet gotten my paycheck (yet again!), my newly cleaned kitchen was 1/2 piled with dirty dishes, and I was just rotten tired. On top of which, I realized that we didn't have any Bisquick in the house, which is pretty essential to making any kind of pot pie.

Oh, and no flour in the house either.

OK, so here I am with boiled veggies, veggie broth, mashed cauliflower and nothing else. I attempted to thicken the broth with corn starch (bad idea), added butter (gross!), then tried cooking orzo to bulk up the base (ew).

Then I thought - ooh ooh! Let's add some brown rice!

Well, brown rice takes a while to cook - and besides, the rice cooker still had rice. [OK - side note: Why did I not use the already cooked rice?! It just occured to me as I am writing this.] So I think, "Hey, let's cook some brown rice in the microwave!"

To make an already long disastrous story short, I blew a fuse, almost broke the microwave, seared the rice, and actually melted a hole in the glass pyrex top. Not only that, after I took it out to cool, the entire glass lid sank in and broke.




Yeah. Uh huh.

I ended up mixing the cauliflower and veggies, added some bay shrimp, sprinkled some breadcrumbs, and sticking the concoction in the oven. And you know what? My accidental recipe actually turned out pretty darn good. And its only 3 points per serving! Here's the recipe.

weight loss diary: week 3 of 15

Yoinks! Last night I took some herbal muscle relaxant to alleviate the pain in my jaw and totally did not get up this morning. Add in the time change confusion (I thought 12:00 was 11), I ended up not getting out of bed until around noon. I made getting up early one of my goals for April.

Overall, a good week... although I took a pretty hard fall off the wagon on Friday night...

*~*~*~*
Week 3 Stats, 3/26 - 4/1:

• Weight: 129.5 lbs
• Body Fat: 28.5%
• Body Fat Lost: 0.5 lbs
• Total Points: 195 (target = 186.5)
• Average Steps: 6,145.3 per day

Pictures:













Me, 4/2/06. You can't tell from the pictures, but I fit better in the dress. I could see the difference when I put it on.

Workouts:

• Goal: 3 workouts this week
• Tues, 3/28: Elliptical 10 mins, Strength on Bosu 20 mins
• Wed, 3/29: Spinning 10 mins, Kickboxing 30 mins
• Fri, 3/31: Kickboxing 20 mins, Walk 20 mins

Accomplishments:

• Renained pretty much on goal for most of the week
• Had enough points saved up for a 27 point dinner on Friday
• Did cardio kickboxing on Wed, and got my mojo back. I'm better than the teacher! (OK, she was a sub.)
• Walked A LOT. I mean, most of my days were 7,000+ steps, which are not counted in AP
• Went out on Thursday and stuck to my allocated 2 beers. Also I managed to resist the fried foods
• Was at work at 9 or earlier
  

*~*~*~*
What Helped Me:

• The blogs and boards, of course. WW and ExP ladies, you are fabulous! Thanks for all of your support.
• Tracking, calcing, tracking, and recalcing. Excel is my best weight loss friend. I constantly recalculate my points for the day/week to understand the impact of my eating.
• Salad and frozen food. Kept me full and happy post workout
• Single-serve natural popcorn. 'Nuff said.
• My friends. Love you all, especially the ones that helped me resist the alcohol on Thurs
• Home workout videos. Did yoga on Sunday and cardio kickbox on Friday, which I might not have otherwise done for time reasons.
  

What Hurt Me:

• Sake. Ouch - a total of 12 points just in sake alone on Friday. This doesn't take into account the 2 glasses of wine (4 points) or 2 glasses of champagne (6 points) that I guzzled on Friday.
• Drunk eating. Hmmm... see a theme? While I was good on Thursday, I lost control on Friday. All that alcohol broke down my inhibitions for cheese-flavored popcorn and more alcohol! Not only that, but I was hangover eating on Sat. Bleh. I made a compromise with myself and am absorbing 7 of he 13 points over from last week into this coming week.
• Didn't weigh in at WW this week. And its only week 2!
• Overconfidence. Seriously. I clocked in at 129 earlier in the week and realized that I'd lost9 pounds. Great, right? Then on Friday, my scale said 127. This gave me a little too much confidence that I could just keep losing weight rapidly, and eventually turned into overeating/drinking on Friday night.

*~*~*~*
Week 3 Goals:

• Work out 4x this week, including 1 solid hour of weight training. Currently planned: Spinning on Mon, Elliptical/Weights on Wed, Boxing on Thurs, Hip Hop on Sat
• Target Points: 25.5 per day, 178.5 for week. Was supposed to be 185.5 for the week, but I am sucking up 7 of the 13.5 points that I went over this week. Compromise :-)
• Steps: 6,000 per day
• Weight Watchers meeting on Friday
• Weight: 128 lbs
• Finish weeks 1 and 2 of Body Intelligence program - I'm behind
• Start reading The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
• Return weight training books to Borders, make flashcards for the Shape program
• Get my freakin car back!

Yeah, I fell off, but I'm climbing back on.

Last night, I completely fell off the wagon. I had saved up 27 points for dinner and drinking since I'd been good. I also did 30 mins of kickboxing and walked 20 minutes before I got to the restaurant.

Needless to say, I was ravenous when I arrived at Koo, a little sushi place tucked away in the Inner Sunset that Karen and I have been dying to try.

The first strike was with the sake. It was freezing, and I spent 20 mins outside waiting for my connecting bus. So I got a small serving to warm me up. Then, a very nice, fruity sake came with our Spoonfuls of Happiness (yummmmmm!), which resulted in us ordering more sake.

Koo was amazing. Karen and I were situated at the sushi bar, where we watched the master chef prepare our yumminess.



Since I knew that sake was 3 points for 1/2 cup, I suggested that we drink wine instead. Karen brought a Gewurtzaminer. If only we'd stuck to that...



We tried practically everything from the specialty menu, but by far the best was the Spoonful of Happiness: Uni and Quail Egg in one spoon, Whitefish wrapped around Monkfish Pate in another, both drizzled with truffle oil ponzu sauce and accompanied by a shot of sake.


It ain't called the Spoonful of Happiness for nothin'


I was apprehensive about the uni, since I'd had it before and really hated it, but I wanted to try the Spoonful nonetheless.


Karen liked the food so much that she licked the plate... literally.

Afterwards, both buzzed and satiated, Eric Pop scooped us up and we all headed to Pink. What a pretentious club! I mean, inside its ok, but they were not letting people in at 10:00! When I asked the bouncer about that, he made some noises about exclusive parties. Huhn, as if letting in cute girls like us is problematic. I managed to get us in anyways, along with some guys that were turned away at the door. And when we got inside, it was totally empty!


The random guys we helped in last night - who thanked us by buying us drinks all night.


Agnes joined us a little while later...






All I can say is that I'm glad I was too trunk to remember what was going on here.

We were wasted, Karen more so than I. Dr. Pop dropped us off at my place, and she crashed here since both roomies are away. This morning, she woke me up in a panic, since she thought she's lost her wallet and phone.

Strike Two: In my drunked state, I of course got the munchies, and ended up eating 2 servings of Smart Pop popcorn. Yikes! That's 8 points... and considering dinner was something like 30, that puts me waaaaaay over my weekly points. What a bummer, since I'd been SO GOOD all week!

Now, everyone knows about drunk eating. So I just said, hey, what the hell - move on. Well, I didn't consider hangover eating! Strike three was basically all day today, when I had this need to eat all day long! I wasn't terrible if you don't count the Smart Pop. But I did eat a cupful of buttery and sweet popcorn, quite possibly the nastiest, greasiest popcorn ever made. I finally chucked the rest of it out and washed my face. Twice.

Oh well. Another week begins. But I have to say... last night was a lot of fun ;-)